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Thread: Online Relationship Insecurities

  1. #1
    TofuBeans's Avatar
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    Online Relationship Insecurities

    Hello, thank you for clicking my post. Sorry for the long post ahead. I've been having issues with my boyfriend, I feel that I'm not good enough for him. We have talked about this issue plenty of times. It's still present. This has been going on for a while and now I'm wondering if this is me being over dramatic.

    I have insecurities over how he has so many female friends. It makes me uncomfortable. I get jealous at them, I also get jealous at artists that loves and follows. He often comments and tells me about how great their art is. We work in creative industry, I'm an artist myself, and my art style isn't like how he likes it. I feel like I can't ever match up to what he likes. Recently we're doing a game cover, I offered him to do the cover even though he had his eye on a cute pixel artist. I was jealous, I said I wanted him to give me a chance, and he said he didn't want me to feel "responsible" for that because I tend to take things seriously. He did give me the chance anyway. What I'm developing now though isn't that good according to him. I feel like he secretly wanted a pixel artist to do it. I asked him and he said no. Am I overthinking things?

    I want him to appreciate me just for a bit, not only about art work project, but also about other things. I feel like I'm working so hard to be liked by him and it has never been enough. The distance doesn't help neither. I feel exhausted.

    I'm hoping to get some insights as I'm really rather clueless in relationships. It's my first relationship and I'm willing to change to make this works out. Thank you, again!

  2. #2
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    How often do you see each other in person?

  3. #3
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    How many times per week, say, do you spend together physically in person? Not over an electronic device but actually together?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Oh dear. Never ever ever look to your significant other for approval on your professional work. That is a big giant No No in the annals of relationship making.

    You really have to work on that self-confidence of yours and do not mix your pleasure with work. Learn to separate the two and be confident in your own style. If you designed that avatar, by the way, I love it.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. Doing this is very unattractive. Be yourself and expect more from dating. End it and start dating local available men who can appreciate you, and never do your professional work for someone for free.
    Originally Posted by TofuBeans
    I feel like I'm working so hard to be liked by him and it has never been enough.

  7. #6
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    Maybe a long distance relationship just isn't right for you. They're hard for anyone. Don't ever feel like you have to match his tastes or change anything about you, your art style, ect. Only change something if it will help you be more comfortable in any relationship you may have in the future. Are you insecure in general? Talking to someone about that could really help.

    People have different tastes and that doesn't mean what you like and what you make isn't good. If you feel like he really doesn't appreciate you in general then it's probably a good idea to move on.


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