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Thread: Met a girl Online and not sure how to proceed with things - opinions needed

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    People are going to talk anyway, whether they want to admit it or not. The point is you shouldn't care so much about what others think of you if you're genuine. So just go in there if you want to go to the Plat or the play or whatever it's called and enjoy yourself. Don't be afraid to connect with her friends and chit chat or ask them a bit about themselves too. Express some interest if you really are interested, remain genuine and have a good time. The whole thing should be about getting to know each other in different ways, different venues, different situations, having fun and being yourselves. If you've got all that, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. If she doesn't like you after that, guess what? Your log in still works, doesn't it?

  2. #22
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    Be your best self and have fun.

  3. #23
    Silver Member cingularity83's Avatar
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    Okay so here's an update

    I went to the show and thought everything had went well.... well I guess I couldn't have been more wrong because after the show was over she was asking if something is wrong and if everything is alright. It came out of no where and I had no clue what she was talking about. She said that I didn't really talk to her much or in general at all
    all night and I found myself put in a situation having to explain that I was trying my best and hardest to engage her friends in conversation since I've already met her 4 times and this is my first time meeting them. Her friends is a man she works with and his wife by the way. We are at a Play for goodness sake. It would be like taking a girl to a movie and then at the end of the movie she tells you that she felt like you barely talked to her at all
    except this is worst because it's live actors performing on a stage and silence is usually required.

    Besides I talked to her and her friend's wife during intermission and we all chatted for a bit about what we thought of the Play so far.

    Anyway I probably should have went with the my initial gut feeling and the night kind of ended on a sour awkward note. Not sure that we'll be seeing each other again at this point.

  4. #24
    Silver Member cingularity83's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    People are going to talk anyway, whether they want to admit it or not. The point is you shouldn't care so much about what others think of you if you're genuine. So just go in there if you want to go to the Plat or the play or whatever it's called and enjoy yourself. Don't be afraid to connect with her friends and chit chat or ask them a bit about themselves too. Express some interest if you really are interested, remain genuine and have a good time. The whole thing should be about getting to know each other in different ways, different venues, different situations, having fun and being yourselves. If you've got all that, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. If she doesn't like you after that, guess what? Your log in still works, doesn't it?
    It was a theater type Play... I had misspelled it while typing too fast

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  6. #25
    Silver Member cingularity83's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by greendots
    Be your best self and have fun.
    Well I tried to at least, but apparently that didn't go over so well

  7. #26
    Silver Member cingularity83's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    She feels safer with friends or group settings since she doesn't know you well yet. She wants her friends' opinions regarding what they think of you. She will ask for opinions whenever you're out of earshot or after you leave.

    You are being put through the test so if you want to impress her and her friends, be on your best, most respectable, well-mannered, honorable behavior.
    we went out hiking/ walking together for our 2nd date so I doubt the feeling safe with groups around is a valid reasoning... but since you didn't know that information I can certainly see and understand why you'd think that

  8. #27
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    I think you are making a bigger deal out of this than is necessary. if you like her, then ask her out again. Stop being so sensitive. You also went in with a bad attitude, and I am certain that she could sense it.

  9. #28
    Silver Member cingularity83's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    I think you are making a bigger deal out of this than is necessary. if you like her, then ask her out again. Stop being so sensitive. You also went in with a bad attitude, and I am certain that she could sense it.
    How exactly did I go with a bad attitude? Just because I expressed I had some initial concerns? I was friendly while there & wanted to make a good impression on her friends.
    She accused me of not talking much specifically to her (which by the way I did talk to her in the limited time we had available).
    I explained to her that I was trying to make an effort to engage her friends in conversations as much as possible so they didnít feel like I was being rude to them since itís my first time meeting them.
    But again the nature of the event we went to didnít really lend itself to talking much in general because it was a theater Play that required silence for almost the 2 & a half hour duration.
    She & her friends went to dinner first before the event started and were running late to the event. By the time they arrived we literally had a few minutes before the show started and were scrambling to our seats. We sat down and a few minutes later it began.

    Where exactly does the being sensitive part come from? Just because I said the night ended on a sour awkward note?

    Now retrospectively looking back at the night... maybe perhaps I should have focused on talking to her more rather than her friends but then who knows, maybe then I would have gotten accused of ignoring her friends by her.

    Either way she's a cool girl but I'm just not certain that we are compatible and that's okay. I don't see anything wrong with that.

    Some things I left out.... at the end of the night after the Show was over we walked out and her friends said goodbye and left. That's when we had the conversation. Afterwards we talked about our opinions of the Play for a bit.
    I asked her where she parked and she indicated in the opposite direction of where I parked. I said okay, no problem and was being a gentleman and offered to walk her to her car to make sure she got there safe. At her car we talked for a bit more and said our goodbyes.

    Now where I was parked was probably a good 10 minute walk away from where she parked at. I thought out of common courtesy that maybe perhaps she could have said something like "hey do you want a ride back to your car" but she didn't. It's a small gesture but I noticed and certainly not something I'd make a big deal about to her. Just like how some strangers will be polite and doors open for others and some people don't. It didn't make her a bad person necessarily but it's something I took notice of when she didn't offer.

    She also said that she was closer to her home than I was to my house and I'd be getting back home so I should send her a text to let her know I got home safe and sound. I did just that when I got home and thanked her for a nice evening and she never replied back to it. Now there's a real chance possibility that she could've fell asleep but also something I took note of because if the situation was reversed I'd make sure I at least stayed up to reply to a text I told something I'd be expecting if I said for them to check in with me because I wanted to know they made it home safe.
    Last edited by cingularity83; 09-22-2019 at 06:44 AM.

  10. #29
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    One of my friends loves to send me texts she meant to send but forgot to click send. Happened to my husband with me a week or so ago plus it's happened to me where I forgot once or twice.

    It sounds like you're testing her too as far as manners.

  11. #30
    Silver Member cingularity83's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    One of my friends loves to send me texts she meant to send but forgot to click send. Happened to my husband with me a week or so ago plus it's happened to me where I forgot once or twice.

    It sounds like you're testing her too as far as manners.
    In all fairness I did mention that perhaps she couldíve fell asleep....
    I didnít say it was something I was going to confront her about and/ or blow out of proportion. I simply just said I took a small mental note of it.

    Also not sure how expecting common courtesy counts as testing someone for manners, but itís your opinion & you have your own experiences for why you feel so and I can respect that.

    I certainly do probably have a high standard for at the very least expecting basic common courtesy from people & nothing else beyond that... and itís only because I hold myself to that standard for extending common courtesy whenever possible.

    After our first 3 dates when she was mostly out in my area and she texted me when she got home after the date when she got home I always made sure to text her back to acknowledge (especially just after a date night)
    Last edited by cingularity83; 09-22-2019 at 08:43 AM.

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