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Thread: Met a girl Online and not sure how to proceed with things - opinions needed

  1. #11
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    So why not break this down along those lines? I think you're kind of jumping ahead to the 52nd door in the labyrinth instead of just walking through 4th one.

    Personally, although I have few rules when it comes to dating, I like meeting people's friends and I like "hang" vibes. Nice way to gauge a spectrum of chemistry and compatibility that you don't get in the dinner-hiking-corner-kissing-bedroom bubble.

    My now girlfriend, for instance? I think it was something like our 4th or 5th time hanging out when she invited me to a friend's house, where they were sipping wine with an outdoor fire going. I didn't think it was a Big Step, because now I was Meeting Friends. Just kind of thought she wanted to see me again. I wanted to see her again too. Was a nice night, and nice to see a little window into who she hung out with. Last night—9 months later—I cooked salmon and roasted potatoes for that friend and her boyfriend, with my girlfriend next to me.

    Door 52, accessed by walking through door number 4.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Go if you like her company and are curious. Don't go if you'd find it a total bore. It's up to you.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I say go, and stop overthinking it. One thing not suggested is perhaps since this is new person you are seeing, the girl sees it as safety in numbers since she doesnt really know you. Or maybe not. Maybe her friends like whatever kind of event a Plat is, I have no idea what it is. If you like her, go.

  4. #14
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    I have my own mixed feelings about this only because I had a negative experience.

    I was asked out on a date by a guy I really liked years ago to come to this even with him and his friends. He ignored me the whole time, probably forgot I was there. Lol

    I say go but be prepared to feel like the odd man out.

    I do agree however with the rest if you really like her to go, so you spend as much time as possible.

    Maybe she’ll include you. I wouldn’t judge based on my one bad experience.

    If you do feel it’s not in your comfort zone then tell her that maybe next time. Then plan a date for just the two of you.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by limichelle
    I was asked out on a date by a guy I really liked years ago to come to this even with him and his friends. He ignored me the whole time, probably forgot I was there. Lol
    Are you serious. What a knob.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    She feels safer with friends or group settings since she doesn't know you well yet. She wants her friends' opinions regarding what they think of you. She will ask for opinions whenever you're out of earshot or after you leave.

    You are being put through the test so if you want to impress her and her friends, be on your best, most respectable, well-mannered, honorable behavior.

  8. #17
    Silver Member cingularity83's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    She feels safer with friends or group settings since she doesn't know you well yet. She wants her friends' opinions regarding what they think of you. She will ask for opinions whenever you're out of earshot or after you leave.

    You are being put through the test so if you want to impress her and her friends, be on your best, most respectable, well-mannered, honorable behavior.
    Oh wowzers.... talk about a great way to make a guy you're seeing feel relaxed and comfortable huh

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by cingularity83
    Oh wowzers.... talk about a great way to make a guy you're seeing feel relaxed and comfortable huh
    If you want a long term partner there are some aspects that are like interviews - not always -sometimes you just click with friends/family. Not everyone cares about such things -but apparently she does. Do you?

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    I disagree. It sounds like she is trying for a low-key group type environment. Not any sort of test. She could see for herself after your first couple of dates whether she wants to see you more. And she does. Mixing up lives a bit is a step forward. Not a judge and jury trial, so relax.
    Originally Posted by cingularity83
    Oh wowzers.... talk about a great way to make a guy you're seeing feel relaxed and comfortable huh

  11. #20
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    I agree with Wiseman. Sure, there are ways that dating is a “test” to see if...you feel like dating. Then that becomes a “test” to see if you can become serious. And so on. But in this case I just see a woman asking a dude to chill and the dude spinning some gears too hard and fast to see that.

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