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Thread: Girl apologized for flaking...should I give her another chance?

  1. #1
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    Girl apologized for flaking...should I give her another chance?

    I've hung out with this girl twice--on the 2nd date we agreed but she changed the plan to something else she wanted to do...which was fine with me..on the third date she flaked but sent me notice the day of..no reschedule...given she had hung out two times before I gave it a pass--she just said she wasn't feeling good...we reschedule...she says she started working another job and had to cancel the reschedule...but we reschedule for literally the following day.....this time she complete stood me up..no text, no nothing...she said she was in training for her new job...but didn't bother to text me to let me know...being that it was 3rd flake and no notice...I cut her off...stopped responding...she apologized profusely and I ignored her...she said she was incredibly sorry wand wanted to make it up to me over an early lunch...I said that didn't work for me and we can do something else at night and gave her two specific times at night...she said possibly but she doesn't have her work schedule from her other job yet...should I even bother with her? I feel like she's just gonna cancel on me again if we do set something up.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I'd move on from her, she does sound like a flake.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Make it simple. If you are still interested after all this, tell her "contact me when you are free to get together". Then stop contacting her. If she contacts you great, if not great. Consider that she is most likely dating others (as you should as well) or that she's on/off with a bf.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Exactly what Wiseman said.

    If you're still interested—by which I mean just genuinely curious about her, not curious to see if she proves herself to be a flake or not—just ask her to reach out when she's free. Easy. If you're already annoyed and thinking she's an awful person, which is totally within your rights—well, skip all that. Dating's weird enough without front-loading it with cynicism.

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  6. #5
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    Don't bother. She has shown you that she is not reliable and does not value your time. Find someone who does.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    She seems very busy. Maybe a relationship or dating isn't something she's able to handle right now. I don't think this should be pursued. Even if she did make a few mistakes and her absence couldn't be helped she should be aware enough of her own schedule to know whether she's overdoing it or doesn't have enough time to date. Leaving you with no word is really inexcusable especially when it wasn't an emergency (work/schedule related).

    Even if you gave her another chance, what are you looking at? Difficult and unpredictable scheduling situations? Not worth it, imo. It doesn't mean she's a bad person. Dating isn't much of an option right now. Less to do with her even and more to do with you. If you have all the time in the world to cater to someone who doesn't care for or respect your time, go for it. Otherwise, change things around and meet other women.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    She's unreliable. Should she make good on her promise to get together with you for lunch, there's no telling when she could flake out on you in the future.

    Be with someone who has the courtesy to text you should they cancel or wish to reschedule.

    There's no excuse for her job training and too busy to text you regarding her date cancellation with you. There is no excuse for those who are habitually and chronically inconsiderate. Consider her history.

  9. #8
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Why reward someone for their inconsiderate behaviour? Set the bar higher.

  10. #9
    Silver Member cingularity83's Avatar
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    I usually employ this method and it’s never failed me

    Call a girl up twice and only ask her out once

    So this is usually for the just starting out dating process where you & someone are starting off getting to know each other. This is a crucial stage because you kinda set the tone for how you want people to treat you as things get further along...

    So I’ll call a girl up once (I usually set up a phone call & hardly ever call out the blue) and if no answer then maybe maybe maybe (depending on my interest level in her) I’ll try again a few days later (obviously she would’ve had to acknowledge the missed call to me first via text) or if she calls back herself then that’s even better!

    Now with asking a girl out I firmly and strictly stick to the ask once rule... if I ask a girl out and she flakes and cancels regardless of whether it’s genuine or made up imaginary sounding excuse like she had to stay at home for the night because her cat looked lonely and needed company, I just won’t brother to ask her out again UNLESS she herself counter offers with another day that could potentially work. If she doesn’t then anything else you try to do after would just come off as chasing and too desperate trying to seek out someone that has no time for you.


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