Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13

Thread: Bad conversation with (not anymore) ex bf

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Sep 2019
    Posts
    4

    Bad conversation with (not anymore) ex bf

    I dated this guy for a year when we were both starting college. We broke up because he was 19 and all about parties, being free, didn’t want to be committed. It was 5 years ago. I “moved on”, I even had another bf (who I didn’t like that much... so I broke up)

    For the past 5 years, studying at the same class, we had this “weird” relationship. Sometimes we were friends, sometimes we just ignored each other. Sometimes we were jealous, even though we weren’t together anymore.

    We graduated three months ago (yay!) and he started texting me. We told me he was missing me so much. We started going out as friends. Well, we did it three times until we kissed, lol. We decided to start dating and see if it works. We are all grown up now, we don’t care about college parties anymore.

    It has been perfect. I’m loving it, everything is great. But yesterday... We were texting each other, and we ended up talking about the past and it was super “bad vibe” for me. So I deleted all the messages e he was like “what happened? are you ok?”. I said “I don’t want to talk about it” and changed the subject. We chatted for a few more minutes and we went to sleep... But I know we were acting weird, you know? We haven’t talked today yet (but that’s ok, I think he’s sleeping)...

    But now I’m having this weird feeling... Did I just messed everything up?

    Sorry for any spelling mistakes, English is my second language.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    34,905
    Gender
    Male
    Leave the past in the past. Wait until you see each other in person. Meanwhile let it go.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    I Can See The Sun!
    Posts
    2,440
    Gender
    Male
    Sure, but saying “I don’t want to talk about it” doesn’t help things either. Try to work on that*

    C*

  4. #4
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    9,173
    You're going to need to be more detailed. Why did you suddenly get a bad vibe from him? What did he say that triggered you, exactly?

    Telling him you don't want to talk about it shuts down all communication. He doesn't appear to have any clue what happened so I can understand why he hasn't reached out today. I wouldn't either if I were him. If you want to make things right, you are going to need to take the initiative in restarting the conversation and explaining what sent you running.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Location
    British Columbia, Canada
    Posts
    2,392
    Gender
    Female
    It seems you reacted badly to something but we don't know what. Did he say something inappropriate?

  7. #6

    Join Date
    Sep 2019
    Posts
    4
    He said nothing wrong.
    I was joking that I prefer him nowadays, because he was addicted to working out and we’d never have drank milkshakes together (like on our last date). He laughed and told me that we would be drinking whey protein instead.
    So he started to send me funny pictures of five, four years ago, and I did it too.
    But he sent me a picture of a party... And I remembered that at this time, we weren’t together anymore and I remember he kissed another girl on this day and I cried a loooooooot... I don’t think he even remembers that, lol.
    But I got that “bad vibe” aaaand I probably made him feel that way too. Now I just wanted to fix it :(
    Last edited by Bea1311; 09-20-2019 at 04:14 PM.

  8. #7

    Join Date
    Sep 2019
    Posts
    4
    He reached out today... Nothing about what happened, just “good morning!”

  9. #8

    Join Date
    Sep 2019
    Posts
    4
    Wiseman2, Carus, MissCanuck, Rose Mosse, thank you for your answers! :)

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    34,905
    Gender
    Male
    Ok let it blow over but reflect privately on why it hit a raw nerve.
    Originally Posted by Bea1311
    He reached out today... Nothing about what happened, just “good morning!”

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Location
    British Columbia, Canada
    Posts
    2,392
    Gender
    Female
    It doesn't sound like you're over him, OP. You shouldn't be talking to your ex if you still have feelings for him. If you feel that he's hindering you from moving on, limit your contact with him. If you also get the sense that he's pulling d*ck moves like that bringing up memories that are hurtful or tasteless depending on your history, this isn't a person you want to be speaking with.
    Last edited by Rose Mosse; 09-20-2019 at 05:31 PM.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •