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Thread: So confused

  1. #1

    So confused

    Hello all, this is my first post on here, not sure how long it will be but I'll tell you everything and hopefully you can help me out.

    So I'll start from the beginning, at the start of this year I met a girl from my college on tinder. (yes tinder I know). We chatted on there and soon met up to go walking our dogs in the park as a "first date" type thing. After about 2 weeks I had to leave the country as I'm in college and I had to go on a foreign work placement as a part of my degree. Over the next 6 months of me being away, we used snap chat to keep in touch regularly and when I say regularly I mean every day, at first it started out as little snaps of what we were doing, how are you getting on with college/work placement, you know just keeping each other up to date, she would also send me snaps when she's out partying and I mean like she would be at a club or bar and she would snap me constantly throughout the night what she was doing. This carried on like this for 6 months until I recently came back home, when I came back home I asked her to come out with me on a date and she did, I picked her up and we went for guess what... another walk... but this time it was more about catching up and getting to know one another as I told her and she agreed, even tho we've been in contact and talking for over 7 months at this point daily, we didn't know a lot about each other in person. The date went great, we talked, we laughed, we went on our own little adventure. A few days after this we were both starting back to college and she invited me to a house party she was throwing back in her dorm, so I agreed and i bought one of my close friends with me as I have a slight case of social anxeity when it comes to partys and going out. On this night she was really flirty with me infront of everyone and all her roommates seemed to know who i was prior to me coming so i took that as a good sign, as the night went on I asked if i could use the rest room as i needed to pee, she took me to her room and we started making out (both really drunk at this point), after this i started to feel a bit sick as i was really drunk so i asked if i could just chill here and she could go back to the party, she said she would stay with me until i felt better and we lay on the bed and just talked for what seemed like hours while the party was going on downstairs. About a week after this I asked her out again and we went to the movies and while we were there she was laying on me and we were having a good time, this is where it goes weird now... when the movie finished, I took her back to her dorm and she invited me inside to chill out as we'd only gone to see a movie, so we did, we hung out again and everything seemed like it was going well, when i went to leave, we hugged and I went in for a kiss, she rejected my kiss as I forgot to add, she said she was feeling like she was coming down with some sort of flu, I knew she wouldnt kiss me because of this but I tried anyway as I wanted to also let her know by kissing her that I want to progress and not stay as friends, as the last time we made out was when we were both drunk and I wanted to test to see if she was into me or not. She then started to freak out as she was like, I didnt kiss you because I'm coming down with a sickness its not that i rejected you. I played it off and I said that I didnt take it as rejection and I liked how shes playing hard to get in a humorous tone, which I thought was harmless flirting. She told me when I got home to text her I'm back as I live almost an hour away from her and the college campus. So I did and she was apologizing for it and I was trying to calm her down and say its fine it didnt matter and it didnt affect anything. Now the days after which has been the last 3 or 4 since this happened shes been very MIA with me, I asked her out again yesterday and she said she couldnt but would love to next week, which for me was weird how shes going so hot and cold on it all.

    I'm sorry for this long post but i just need some help on this, I really like her but still dont think that its enough time to ask her to be my girlfriend as we've only been together in person a handful of times becuase of my work placement. And I dont want to wait too long to make her loose interest in me.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Cloud Nine
    Slow down. Ask her out on a date for next week. Stay sober. Read the social cues. If she's not going for the kiss stop. Try not to crowd her too much or get anxious. Just relax and be more confident.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    British Columbia, Canada
    But... I thought she was coming down with something. She's ill, is she not? What do you mean MIA? She may be sleeping a lot if she's not feeling well. I think it's a good idea to wait until next week and ask her out towards the end of next week. I would text somewhere Tues/Weds/Thurs and ask her how she's feeling first. Don't spring a park adventure or taking the dogs out together until you understand how she's feeling.

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