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Thread: Red flags

  1. #11
    adridania725's Avatar
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    There are several possibilities of what is occuring and here are two main ones:

    1.) You have mentioned that her company is laying her off the department. She is possibly just really stressed at the current moment and doesn't feel like saying much yet. Also, it's likely she didn't want to let you know about the interview because she meant what she said about feeing pressured about being possibly not getting the job. To tie everything up, she's just going through a rough time and just needs some time to not feel as overwhelmed.

    2.) It is likely that she has or is losing interest. And it's possible that it's nothing you have done, it's just how she feels. She may seem distant because she feels overwhelmed. Why would she choose to go out with friends instead of you? That is a slight red flag there. My tip to you is to really talk to her, just be direct. Tell her that you realized what has been going on lately with the job situation, but you have also noticed that she seems more distant. Ask her if it's due to her feelings towards you or if it's just the stress from the stuff that's been going on with her job.

  2. #12
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    How long has she been retreating from you, OP, and how long have you been dating?

    To echo the others, her not telling you about the phone interview is not necessarily a problem in and of itself. But taken together with her apparent distance with you, I can see why you're worried it's a symptom of a bigger issue.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. It's not about respect it's about drifting apart. You are losing your connection. What is the reason for that? Do you tend to be clingy or controlling or harp on her text response times or that she goes out with her friends?

    Just pull back and reflect.
    Originally Posted by Ayes
    Lately she has been giving me cold shoulder. I feel like she doesnít respect me anymore

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Just like in a friendship, in a romantic relationship, put in an equal effort of what you're getting, and no more, and if it's not satisfying to you, it's perhaps time to end things.

    After you asked her on a date, when she said no, the ball was in her court to ask you to do something. If she doesn't, her non-action makes things very clear. If you're the first to text her daily, hold back on particular days and let her be the first to text you. If she goes an entire day without wanting to speak to a person she's been dating a whole year and a half, then yes, the relationship is regressing--not a good sign.

    The next time you're together, why not have a discussion? I'd ask in a mellow tone while holding her hand, "Is there anything you'd like changed in the relationship? Something you'd like me to do or not to do?" Then just listen. Maybe you'll get a clue on why she's pulling away from your company.

    Do you have a life besides her with hobbies/interests and spending time with guy friends? Just making sure she doesn't feel smothered if she's the center of your universe for your social activities. Let us know how it goes.

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  6. #15
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    When did you see her last?

    If she does not communicate or want to spend time with you, I would say that she pulling away. She should be honest and end things.

  7. #16
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    Man, what you're experiencing has been rinsed and repeated so much that it's listed in the dictionary under "beating a dead horse". Don't worry, I was young and naive once too. You're doing the right thing for questioning all this.
    99.999% she is done with you, she just don't have the decency to tell you; and it's so much more fun to mess with your head and keep you hanging on then just tell you outright.
    She's spending time with her friends, but she can't find 5 minutes to communicate with you beyond a few words over text. That seals the deal, anything else is just making meatballs.
    Do the right thing, drop her and move on as quickly as possible. She already dropped you, you just didn't get the proverbial memo yet.

  8. #17
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    Who brags about a phone interview?

  9. #18
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Talk to her in person and stop with this texting.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Back off. Let her take care of her job situation first. Once she's settled with her new job, then she'll have more brain space for you. Respect her priorities.

    If you're not willing to remain patient, then break it off with her and be with a woman who has less troubles and more available for a relationship with you.

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