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Thread: Scapegoating

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    Scapegoating

    Has anyone even been, or is currently a victim of scapegoating by their own family? lt's terrible, no matter how much you tell yourself it's not you, they still somehow are able to get to you. And even though, in the worst cases, no contact is the only solution, it's so difficult to do that with your entire family! The guilt! O-M-G!

    Looking for any help/advice I can get!
    Last edited by Camber 2019; 09-18-2019 at 04:32 PM.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Are the the black sheep? 🐏🐑
    Originally Posted by Camber 2019
    Has anyone even been, or is currently a victim of scapegoating by their own family? lt's terrible, no matter how much you tell yourself it's not you, they still somehow are able to get to you. And even though, in the worst cases, no contact is the only solution, it's so difficult to do that with your entire family! The guilt! O-M-G!

    Looking fro any help/advice I can get!

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Teflon...🍳

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Are the the black sheep? 🐏🐑
    If you were asking if I am the black sheep... well, only in that I am the only one that points out strange family behaviors that they claim don't exist. So yes, I am!

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Such as? 👽👹👺🤠🤡
    Originally Posted by Camber 2019
    I am the only one that points out strange family behaviors that they claim don't exist.

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    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Camber 2019
    If you were asking if I am the black sheep... well, only in that I am the only one that points out strange family behaviors that they claim don't exist. So yes, I am!
    Yes! Been there done that. And while you're the scapegoat, they'll gaslight you to death! I've come to the conclusion that whenever people make you to be the scapegoat and gaslight in order to smash you to bits, it is mental illness at its finest. In this case, I simply stay away. Far away. It's called enforcing healthy boundaries.

    Should my paths cross with them on rare occasions, all I can do is remain civil yet maintain my safe distance. Whatever works.

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Such as? 👽👹👺🤠🤡
    In a nutshell, being chastised since I moved away for my career in the early 80's. They all resent it and have always treated me and my (fill in the blank: girlfriend, wife, son...) like 2nd class citizens. When I bring it up, they deny and try to make me feel like I'm crazy. Then they all get together and decide what they are going to say to me, and I get barraged...

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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    Yes! Been there done that. And while you're the scapegoat, they'll gaslight you to death! I've come to the conclusion that whenever people make you to be the scapegoat and gaslight in order to smash you to bits, it is mental illness at its finest. In this case, I simply stay away. Far away. It's called enforcing healthy boundaries.

    Should my paths cross with them on rare occasions, all I can do is remain civil yet maintain my safe distance. Whatever works.
    YES! Thank you. But when I distance myself I get all kinds of guilt trip messages, sisters telling me I'm "killing my parents".

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    My mother and her siblings scapegoat each other (my mother does it with her children too). I limit my interaction and keep a safe distance.

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    Originally Posted by Leah33
    My mother and her siblings scapegoat each other (my mother does it with her children too). I limit my interaction and keep a safe distance.
    I know, right? Both of my Parents have always scapegoated their siblings and talked very nasty about each and every one of them (of course the siblings they were falling out with changed from week to week).

    Recently my sisters ganged up on me (once again) and ostracized me from the family because I attempted to tell them how I felt. They spun this so well with my parents that my parents blamed me and tried to make me feel guilty for "tearing the family apart". I told my parents I had good teachers as they had been at odds with their own siblings ever since I can remember. They flat out denied it, told me I was wrong, ad demanded that I apologize to my sisters!

    Look at my age... I'm the youngest! Adult children at their best!

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