Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Crushes and friends

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Sep 2019
    Posts
    3

    Crushes and friends

    So, my friend, who I will call r, and me were chatting. We discovered that we both used to have a crush on mutual friend a. R and me were talking about how crazy that was and about how r needed to tell a. I met up with a later this week, and, thinking r had told her, started talking about how it was crazy that me and r had a crush on her. It turns out that a has a crush on r now, and didnít believe me about r liking her. I texted r about this, and she was very upset that I had told a about r liking her. R is in her first ever relationship right now, and it is with a guy that me and a donít know. What should I do to repair the friendship and ease the romantic tension between r and a?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    34,946
    Gender
    Male
    Stay out of your friend's love lives. Learn that a good friend can be confided in and not spread stuff around. Don't betray your friends like this.
    Originally Posted by Lily1578
    me and r had a crush on her. R is in her first ever relationship right now, and it is with a guy that me and a donít know.

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Sep 2019
    Posts
    3
    R told me she was going to tell a, and I didnít know she didnít, I brought it up so we could have a laugh about how we all used to like each other, I also didnít know that a kinda still liked r

  4. #4
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Location
    NY
    Age
    59
    Posts
    323
    Gender
    Male
    My head is spinning...

  5.  

  6. #5

    Join Date
    Sep 2019
    Posts
    3
    Same man, same

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Location
    British Columbia, Canada
    Posts
    2,408
    Gender
    Female
    R (a girl) is upset that A (a guy) knows about her feelings while she's in a relationship with someone else. They're all friends/know each other.

    Yes, it was inappropriate for you to speak about your friends so loosely. Apologize to both of them (R and A) and excuse yourself out of this situation. I would also shut down any ideas from A and explain that your friend is unavailable and please be respectful. R is probably more upset at your betrayal of confidence. Your friendship there may have taken a hit. Be realistic with that friendship. Next time, don't do this again. If you feel you're getting excited about your crushes and talk about that sort of thing, cool yourself off before hanging out with your friends.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    34,946
    Gender
    Male
    Let it blow over, maybe she'll forgive you. But next time don't gossip.
    Originally Posted by Lily1578
    R told me she was going to tell a, and I didnít know she didnít, I brought it up so we could have a laugh about how we all used to like each other, I also didnít know that a kinda still liked r

  9. #8
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    6,403
    Gender
    Female
    Be honest - if A asked you on a date right now, would you say ďyesĒ?

    I canít help but feel (and Iím sure R feels this way) that you had ďotherĒ motives for telling A about Rís crush. Especially now that R is in a relationship and is unavailable.

    I mean... itís not that funny? Itís a vague chuckle at best?

    It wasnít your story to tell. I can understand if R feels betrayed. I think you should just apologize and stay out of it... and most importantly, donít be putting any moves on A. Perception is reality in this situation. Right now, IMO, the perception would be that you were trying to sabotage any potential they may have had.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    1,171
    Stay out of this. Don't be messy.

    Mind your own business and focus on your own life otherwise you will ruin your friendships.

    Be smart. Don't get involved and play it safe!


Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •