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Thread: Boyfriend with PTSD

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Because you are volunteering to be an easy and handy target for his anger. If you have self-esteem/self-respect problems talk to a trusted adult. Perhaps ask your parents to take you to a therapist to discuss why you would hookup with a weirdo like this.
    Originally Posted by LadyLantern
    If nothing is wrong with our relationship why not attack other parts of his life ?.

  2. 09-18-2019, 11:57 AM

  3. #12
    And the man I am with isnít a weirdo just because someone has mental issues doesnít make them a weirdo .

  4. #13
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    So why are you with him?
    Originally Posted by LadyLantern
    Heís not happy and he keeps going psycho

  5. #14
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LadyLantern
    Okay you can shut the up now . I have a therapist .. she suggested giving space and all which has worked so he work his out . This is the first melt down in a while so I came on here for advice . If you donít like that Iím not taking yours the off the post ?
    Did we hit a nerve?

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  7. #15
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Because you canít attack people who abused you. Too scary. You are an easier target.
    Originally Posted by LadyLantern
    I never thought about it that way . He said he attacks our relationship cause itís easy cause nothing is wrong with us .

  8. #16
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    Itís not okay to go off on people on here!

    Just because you donít like the advice given. Youíre the one who needs to calm down.

    Wiseman2 was just trying to help. You said it yourself the guy is Ďpsycho.í

    Obviously this is causing you too much stress. So youíre lashing out and being defensive on a forum.

    Step back and realize that.

    Time to move on and find your happiness.

  9. #17
    Bronze Member MirrorKnight's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LadyLantern
    And the man I am with isnít a weirdo just because someone has mental issues doesnít make them a weirdo .
    Actually it depends on how bad the mental issues are.

    Stop making excuses for bad behaviour with mental illness, whether it is a cause of said bad behaviour or not. Most mentally unstable people should not be in a romantic relationship, period. Not because I think they are less than human or whatever, but they are not in the correct mental state to be in a relationship. Also, people can have a mental illness AND just inherently be an a$$holes anyway, those things are not mutually exclusive.

    You are 21 years old, work out why you took on a basket case of a man 8 years older than you. Do you have insecurities? Do you feel like you need a man to need you so you are not so scared of abandonment?

  10. #18
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I don't know, LL. Your language seems very incendiary and provocative. I know you're frustrated but I'd say put aside the PTSD and bad mother rhetoric. It just doesn't look very good for you overall. In other words, it's not his mother or your boyfriend who seem unstable right now.

    Cool it and take a step back. It's not ok to egg on any difficult relationships or tension between him and his family. Neutralize that and don't be an added source of grief overall. If you are looking at this being a long term relationship and do sincerely care for each other, pick your battles and don't let things get so awry. Relationships around you shouldn't be operating with this much dysfunction.

  11. #19
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LadyLantern
    If nothing is wrong with our relationship why not attack other parts of his life ?.
    Likely something you say or do is triggering the attack. Not that you are to blame or that it excuses his behavior... however if he really does have PTSD, these reactions are the result of a trigger which he hasn't learned to manage.

    It's good that he is going to group therapy, however treatment for PTSD is extensive and he will need years of various types of therapy to be able to manage his triggers appropriately.

    There is also the added factor that his family is still in his life and continues to open the wound over and over again.

    At the end of the day you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of this if you decide to stay.

  12. #20
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    PTSD calms down when you remove the stressor. He doesn't know anything accept the toxic drama of his family. He's not ready to sever his relationship with them & may never be ready. This is untenable for you but will not improve. Stay at your own risk.

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