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Thread: Ex texted me while I've been in no contact

  1. #1
    Member Skylark89's Avatar
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    Ex texted me while I've been in no contact

    I don't know what to do in my situation. I've been in no contact with my ex. He's been texting me lately. I tried to resist replying, but ended up talking to him. I don't know what to make from what he said. Can someone please pm me? I'd like to get advice on our conversation.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    If you don't wish to resume regular contact with your ex, tell him either via text or verbally. Request politely and respectfully while forewarning him that should he not comply and honor your request, you will ghost and block him. Enforce boundaries with your ex.

  3. #3
    Member Skylark89's Avatar
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    I do want to talk to him again, but I don't know what to make of what he said. I don't want to post the conversation, in case he happens to lurk on here.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    If you want to talk to him, ask him what he meant what he said. Ask him to explain it to you. Be honest and ask him if you are confused and need to know.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok whenever an ex contacts you, it's for their own reasons. He may be lonely, want a hookup etc. Consider carefully if you want to reopen this.
    Originally Posted by Skylark89
    I do want to talk to him again, but I don't know what to make of what he said. I don't want to post the conversation, in case he happens to lurk on here.

  7. #6
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Ok whenever an ex contacts you, it's for their own reasons. He may be lonely, want a hookup etc. Consider carefully if you want to reopen this.
    I completely agree with Wiseman2.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Any time you don't understand a message, ask for clarification. "Would you please explain what that means?"

  9. #8
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    Don't respond. This is just the Ex trying to put themselves on your radar. They want you as an option still so they'll bait you to see if you can easily be pulled in. On some level every person thinks, "if it's meant to be we'll find our way back" but this is just something said to help them feel confident enough to move on. In this mindset they're thinking: if I can't find anything else maybe I can reconcile with my ex. Don't allow someone to let you be their backup plan, even if you're the one breaking up with him.

    You being uncomfortable is proof that on some level you moved on. The tone of your post sounds like you're more curious than giddy that your ex messaged you.

    I had a similar situation and I texted him back but I made clear boundaries. I made it clear that I had no interest in reconciliation on any level and that we could talk as friends but once I started getting uncomfortable I explained that I will cut the little contact we have. You really have to stand your ground because people will use you.

  10. #9
    Member Skylark89's Avatar
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    I got a lot of helpful advice on here and from friends. Thanks everyone!

    I think he's just playing games. Probably looking for an ego boost. o(>< )o He could've started with an apology, but he never gave one.

    I sort of gave him an ultimatum. I don't like mind games. I'm not going to play them. It's in his court now. He has to decide what he wants.

    Meanwhile, I'm not going to worry about it or wait around for it. I've been back in no contact, doing my own thing, and having fun! Been doing great!! ( ノ^ω^)ノ゚ I hung out with someone, yesterday. And I had a lot of fun!

    It is annoying that he keeps following me around on social, but whatever. └(・-・)┘

  11. #10
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    No offense, but you are playing mind games,. You're leaving a door open for him, otherwise you'd block him from all means of communication.

    While leaving the ball in his court waiting for him to "decide what he wants," you're giving him complete control. Either way, there's a method to his madness, and you're playing directly into his hand.

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