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What do you make of my exes response?


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I reached out to my ex expressing being disappointment that he resented me so much as I valued him in my life and I was sad that it ended with animosity between us. After months of ignoring me, he replied to this recent email with “I don’t hate you, get over that. I don’t have a bad perception of you. Look you and I seem to have an oil and water dynamic, we don’t mix well lol” i replies with its wasn’t fair for him to say we were incompatible as we were compatible for a long time. And just bc we fought didn’t mean we were incompatible and it makes me sad that he didn’t care about me to stick it out. I asked him why he thought we were incompatible and if he thought there was anything we could do to get over this dynamic. Sadly it took me three emails to get this out so i apologized for overwhelming him with messages and he knew where to find me if he wanted to continue this discussion. He could have simply ignored me like he has done up to now but instead he replied “not overwhelmed, lol” but didn’t bother to answer above question or say not interested or anything else. What do you make of this?

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You are coming over rather "crazy ex-girlfriend" here, to put it bluntly.

 

He is not playing games. He is over you, if he ever was seriously into you, he is definitely not anymore. He cannot be bothered with any more drama, he is not interested in explaining anything to you.

 

Why do you even care? Do you think you can reason or talk him back into thinking that you are compatible, and somehow that could lead to a reconciliation? Actually I know the answer, because if you are over him, why would you even care about how he regards your former relationship?

 

Maybe you guys had something meaningful, maybe it was only meaningful to you, maybe you were compatible, maybe you were not. It is all irrelevant now. Honestly I think he just used incompatibility as an excuse, a "nice" way to break up with you, because for whatever reason, he just wasn't that into you anymore. It's just a hunch anyway, and as I said, irrelevant.

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From his tone and text he's not interested in you and treats you like a joke. This isn't someone you should be speaking with again. There's no respect there at all and he doesn't care what you think anymore. Silences are also a type of answer. You seem angry and upset that he gave up on the relationship or doesn't see anything between the both of you.

 

I hope you realize he probably does not want to be around that kind of negative vibe and he doesn't want to disagree with you anymore. Coming at him now with yet another disagreement about it only makes you seem a bit strange and pushy. Don't do this anymore. Respect yourself a little more.

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I'm sorry but it sound like he's not interested in going over things with you.

He's moving forward and doesn't want to keep going over the past. He's being polite by responding but not engaging in my breakup talk.

Best thing is to let him be until he reaches out to you.

Not easy to hear I know.

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He obviously doesn't care to consider your feelings nor cares what you think. I'd give it up. Stop trying to figure him out.

 

When it comes to relationships, you either click or you don't. You can't force it. Both parties need to be empathetic otherwise, it will forever fail.

 

Don't overthink this. Anytime, a person is complicated, unclear, refuses to explain, expresses themselves in a confusing manner and never on the same wavelength as you, it's time to part ways. This is with anybody; not just men. This applies to both friends and family (relatives / in-laws).

 

Some people are nothing but self-centered and selfish. If the whole world does not revolve around them, they could care less about you. This is the time when you need to walk away permanently.

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Sorry to hear this. How long were you dating? When did you break up?What was the breakup about? Unfortunately sending provocative messages like this hoping to reignite a dialogue doesn't work, as you found out. Let it rest and focus on you.

it took me three emails to get this out so i apologized for overwhelming him with messages and he knew where to find me if he wanted to continue this discussion.
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Well I agree with everyone. I just don’t get why he bothered replying when i said you no where to find me if you want to continue the convo but otherwise left it open for him not to respond/ ignore me, which is what he usually does.

 

So you don't obsessively bombard him with 20 more e-mails and 50 more texts....or even one more.... Being silent hasn't worked in that you refuse to accept the break up and work on your healing and moving forward. Nobody owes a relationship or "making" things work. It wasn't working for him anymore from his point of view. Respect that and leave him be.

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Why not take self-respecting action yourself and delete and block him and all his people from all your messaging apps and social media? Done. Then you can move on, start messaging and dating men and stop worrying about his motives or contact. Why does he decide what you want?

all he has to say is I’m not interested in discussing this. Or block me
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Maybe I’m retarded but to me replying I’m not overwhelmed means he wants to continue conversation

 

Honestly, you’re not wrong.

 

There are exes who get an ego boost out of being pinned over and you’re right he could easily block you. It’s kinda like he’s the cat lazily playing with the mouse when he gets bored.

 

That should not give you any kind of hope though, because it’s not a good thing, it comes from a place of complete disrespect.

 

I was kinda like you when I was younger, I always had a hard time letting go of relationship and always wanted another chance to fix things, I’d get treated super badly which what did I expect, exes have no moral obligation to treat you as anything but an ex, ironically very often the exes that allowed such behavior came back after I had began to move on, not because they loved me, but rather because they wanted the attention back. It was never about love or respect though please don’t confuse it

 

It’s insulting really.

 

Try to disengage.

 

It will be hard, no doubt but take it one day at a time, next time you get the urge to text him write it out on here, there’s a thread ‘ write here instead of contacting your ex’ it’s helped a lot of people. Give it a try.

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Maybe I’m retarded but to me replying I’m not overwhelmed means he wants to continue conversation

 

I think he was mocking you... as in he's not overwhelmed by your antics (thinks they're funny/doesn't take them seriously). This isn't an open invitation to send more texts or call him anymore. For situations like this where you are uncertain what a person means over text messaging (especially conversations with an ex where there's some tenuous history), just don't put yourself in that position. You're coming across like a fool or someone not to be taken seriously. Sorry, OP.

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He knows I wouldn’t obsessively bombard him with emails and all he has to say is I’m not interested in discussing this. Or block me

 

He absolutely doesn't know this and your actions speak otherwise....see the multiple e-mails you've sent him..... His curt response did not invite further discussion. He DID dismiss you. He doesn't care about blocking you because he doesn't care about you....you are like an annoying mosquito buzzing around. Neither here nor there. His heart doesn't jump when he sees your number or your e-mail pop up. He doesn't hate you, he doesn't dislike you, he simply no longer cares about you.

 

Please for the love of.....stop humiliating yourself, stop contacting him. Move on. You'll thank yourself for that later as you calm down and look back at your behavior.....you really don't want to cringe.....Head up, walk away.

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Maybe I’m retarded but to me replying I’m not overwhelmed means he wants to continue conversation

 

I don't see why you think "I'm not overwhelmed lol" means he wants to keep talking to you.

 

He seems to be laughing at you, though, and laughing at how seriously you still take this. He's sending the message he doesn't really care what you have to say or why you think you should still be together.

 

Go find your dignity, girl, and stop contacting him. Your previous threads indicate this was not a good relationship and you have been in denial too long.

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I know you're hurting, because I am too and it sucks when you're broken up with. I went through the whole texting and emailing regularly thing too. And when he would reply out of politeness, I would take that a sign he wanted to hear from me.

Heck, when we broke up I begged him to block and delete my number and he refused. I took this as a sign that he still secretly wants to get back with me.

We mind read when we're hurting. Fact is he just didn't care if he heard from me or not. And that's pure indifference. Hard to get your head around.

 

Just don't reply, or contact him and give yourself time to clear your mind. It will help long term. If he contacts you while you're disappeared, then you will know he's not 'done' with communication. But give him the chance to have the breakup he wants. We have to respect their decision ultimately, however painful it is.

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He knows I wouldn’t obsessively bombard him with emails and all he has to say is I’m not interested in discussing this. Or block me

 

except that you did totally bombard him with emails. He is trying to shut the door and tell you that for him, he feels that the two of you aren't compatible, that there is nothing to work through. The fact that you thought so differently indicates you are in denial and probably were ignoring the red flags popping up during the relationship... and also that he wasn't being completely honest that he wasn't really feeling the relationship in the first place.

 

Show some self-respect and self-worth... let it go and move on.

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Well I let it go bc your right why am I chasing after someone who doesn’t want to be with me. And now he’s initiating...

Just gonna quote myself...

Honestly, you’re not wrong.

 

There are exes who get an ego boost out of being pinned over and you’re right he could easily block you. It’s kinda like he’s the cat lazily playing with the mouse when he gets bored.

 

That should not give you any kind of hope though, because it’s not a good thing, it comes from a place of complete disrespect.

 

I was kinda like you when I was younger, I always had a hard time letting go of relationship and always wanted another chance to fix things, I’d get treated super badly which what did I expect, exes have no moral obligation to treat you as anything but an ex, ironically very often the exes that allowed such behavior came back after I had began to move on, not because they loved me, but rather because they wanted the attention back. It was never about love or respect though please don’t confuse it

 

It’s insulting really.

 

Try to disengage.

 

It will be hard, no doubt but take it one day at a time, next time you get the urge to text him write it out on here, there’s a thread ‘ write here instead of contacting your ex’ it’s helped a lot of people. Give it a try.

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People will call you a crazy ex girlfriend but I think that was a response he gave you.

 

Comparing you two to oil and water is dumb and it shows that he's not willing to admit his faults and is blaming it on you two being incompatible which is a crappy excuse and shows he can hold himself accountable and he's out of touch that in almost every breakup there's something off on both sides.

 

Stop talking to this guy and go now contact. He will eventually text you weeks later once he realizes you're gone and once he texts you, you should throw the oil and water metaphor right back in his face and move on with your life knowing you rejected him.

 

You're clearly upset about the breakup and you clearly have questions that need to be answered. Based on his demeanor with that oil and water quote, he knows he has the upper hand, he knows you're the one rejected, he knows you're the one hurt, he knows that he has you wrapped around his finger and now he has a 'crazy ex gf' story to tell his friends in order to improve his ego and get props from his buddies. He also knows that if now he can date and sleep with whoever but he still has you hooked so if it doesn't work out with his new girl he was you (the obsessed ex gf) that he can fall back on.

 

This is emotional abuse. In a break up both parties should be hurting on some level. He should be able to provide a reason as to why he decided to break it off with you, he should be able to discuss this with you in a detailed mature manner so you can get your closure and he can get his. Instead it sounds like he is brushing it off and he's being indifferent towards you because he knows it'll hurt you and give him the upper hand.

 

OP, I just got out if situation like this and it's rough. Understand his response that isnt a normal human response to a breakup. Adults explain themselves. Adults accept breakups and yheh attempt to give the other person the information needed for them to get closure. Cut this guy off and never look back.

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