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Thread: Embarrassing Moment

  1. #1
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    Embarrassing Moment

    A lot of times when I have an embarrassing moment, I have trouble overthinking what others thought of me in the moment. I am also aware that other people generally don't care in the big picture and that I'm the only one stressing over it when it's really not that big of a deal, but I can't help but keep overthinking my mess-ups or embarrassing moments even when I know they're not really something to stress over. How can i stop or distract myself from overthinking these embarrassing moments? (By embarrassing moments, it ranges from not realizing I was being annoying or inconsiderate until later and then deeply regretting whatever I did to tripping over myself in public). I've heard a lot about self-care strategies like using a face mask, reading a book, taking a shower, or watching a movie, but I can't always be doing all these things, and it seems whatever free time I have not spent keeping myself busy, I seem to find myself remembering cringy moments from my past.

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    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    You have to let go of past embarrassing moments. Don't allow the past to have a hold and grip on your daily life! Learn to release it. Change the way you think. You can't undo the fast yet you can change from this day forward.

    Your recognition of annoying or inconsiderate action is to your benefit because you have a conscience. Many people don't have a conscience, are chronically in denial and demonstrate endless obnoxious rudeness. I commend you for humbly admitting your mistakes and feeling guilty. We need more people such as yourself on this Earth!

    Change and you will be noticed as being a very decent human being and honorable person. Think before you speak and write. If you're not sure, then don't say nor write it. Always err on the side of caution if you wish to play it safe. Show respect. Remember 'The Golden Rule:' "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

    We all have cringe worthy past memories. There's nothing you can do about it except making it a work in progress, constantly improve yourself and become a better person. Smart people start all over again everyday. It sounds like you are one of them. Don't be so hard on yourself. Relax! Be yourself, kind, respectful and empathetic. You will be ok!

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    Platinum Member Keyman's Avatar
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    While easier said that done, you need to learn to to worry so much about the little things. Trip over something on the street and look like an idiot? Shrug and think, at least I didn't die, and get on with your life.

    I think part of it is accepting yourself. We can often be our biggest critics and worry too much about what others think, but when everyone worries about themselves, no one has time to judge. And those people who do judge you for your idiosyncrasies should be ignored or if they are a friend, removed from your life.

    Worry is a big problem in the world, we spend so much time looking back at our lives and judging ourselves, we give ourselves no room to move forward. Find your self esteem and try to find a way to stay in the moment. Meditate when you have time, which will hopefully help you to calm the thinking. And, try focussing on getting on with your life instead of all the little bumps in the road.

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    Has anyone commented, or are these events something you believe to be "annoying or inconsiderate?" I see that you also suffer with issues of body image.

    Have you spoken to a therapist regarding these issues?
    Last edited by Hollyj; 09-17-2019 at 04:45 AM.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Keep in mind that the entire world is not this focused on you. Try to get over yourself and realize that this self absorption is not fixed with face-masks. Just keep saying to yourself: "There were other people there and most probably never noticed, no less are still ruminating about it".

    Did you ask your parents to take you to therapy? Excessive focus on your looks, your weight, you, everything about yourself, etc is taking hold and could be addressed appropriately in therapy.

    You sound lonely and solitary. But this can change when you stop the excess focus on yourself and start becoming interested in other people places and things.

    Do not suffer alone in your own self-absorbed, self-obsessed world. Talk to a therapist. They will treat you like an adult and you can discuss your feelings in private there....Even if you have perfectionist helicopter parents who are driving you to this unhealthy state of self-absorption and perfectionism.
    Originally Posted by yun
    I've heard a lot about self-care strategies like using a face mask, reading a book, taking a shower, or watching a movie.

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    Member MrAdversity's Avatar
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    I do it all the time not to just embarrassing moments all moments where I feel it could have went a different way or maybe I should have said more/less etc ..and I reply them in my head for awhile playing out how it could have been different ...kinda annoying

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    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Are you still in highschool, Yun? Take it easy. Things will smooth out over time. Everyone makes mistakes and we cannot always be right all the time. Learn to go with the flow. Your ideas about yourself may be a little rigid. Practice more flexibility, mentally and emotionally. Don't bring bad influences into your life and stay focused with school.

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    Platinum Member LC8328's Avatar
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    Hey,

    This is totally understandable. Rest assured you are NOT the only person who thinks this way. I'm getting close to 50 years old and I still randomly remember stupid things I did decades ago that no one else will probably ever think of.

    One thing that helps me get through it - I tell myself that anything embarrassing that I do, I do because I'm human. Because humans trip, pass gas, stumble over their words, have dumb moments. But we also have spectacular moments and patterns of good things that we do every day. And if people are going to judge me based on a rare, accidental event, then that reflects poorly on them, not on me.

    I guarantee that anything embarrassing you've done, someone else has done the exact same thing. Would you punish them for the rest of their lives for doing these things? No? Then you need to give other people the benefit of the doubt for your embarrassing things.

    Anyway, that helps me. There's also a sort of acceptance that helps, meaning, accept yourself wholly, the beautiful as well as the mistakes. Admit that it's ok that you don't execute things perfectly. That as you make mistakes, even dumb ones, it helps you learn and is part of living. You can't think "oh if only i never did anything embarrassing." That's not reality. So accept that you do it often but in spite of this - or because of it - you're also awesome.

    Hope this helps xoxo


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