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Thread: Does my dad have bad intentions?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    If the best reason you can come up with is you have your Dads name as an emergency contact, could you possibly even trust this man to make decisions on your behalf?
    It's not easy to feel like you dont have someone who has your back, but you've learned the hard way your own father would put a knife in it.
    You've heard that saying that you need to close doors for new ones to open? Clear out the toxic people in your life. At 30 you have a lifetime ahead of you to build a new one.

    Be brave and take that leap of faith.
    Believe you deserve it

  2. #12
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    I can only imagine what it is like to have not even one family member who is responsible and who you can count on to have your back growing up. It breaks my heart all you have been through.
    It's not fair at all. And you've had to learn everything yourself. But look at what you have accomplished! If you could see what I see, a really strong young woman who could do anything she sets her mind to, I think you'd walk away from this and never look back. He is holding you back.
    I agree with the others here who are saying build on you, work on getting out of these toxic cycles. It's the only real way.
    The one person you always have is you. Make sure you are working for your own side.

  3. #13
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    I think you need to make better friend choices. You seem to be bringing/allowing toxic people into your life.

    It is really terrible for everything you have gone through, but I think you can turn this around and make better choices for your future.

    I think that you should stay away from men, until you can get yourself together. Take a break from all dating for at least a year, so that you can recognize your pattern of choosing bad men.

  4. #14
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    Honestly, i would have decided to let your dad drive the VW and own two cars rather than expect dad to take over payments. Or I would have not aided him with a car.
    If he wants to put the house in your name, then its your house. you do not have to rent it out, you change the locks, and its yours.
    I think the common denominator is that your dad always disappointed you and you expect him to change. He won't change. Love him for who he is - maybe that means you don't loan him money or credit. you can do something nice with no expectation like take him out to dinner every so once in awhile or buy some favorite food item for him but stop putting yourself on the line. he will stop disappointing you that way. If you have not, you should get your own studio apartment, particularly if he decides to leave the country

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  6. #15
    Silver Member MirrorKnight's Avatar
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    I'm sorry about everything that has happened to you. Life has dealt you a truly cruel hand.

    Forget about your father. He is beyond help. He is never going to change his selfish, pathetic and manipulative ways. He is a toxic loser poisons everyone close to him and somebody who should have been neutered like the pathetic animal that he is. Unfortunately your parents are not qualified to have children, but sadly there is no pre-requisite qualification for actually bringing new life into this world.

    You are 30, you are still young, do not allow yourself to be defined by your horrible start in life. Treat yourself with respect and love and only give your time to others who treat you the same way. Do not settle for less, do not think that because of your past, you deserve what you get. I agree with Holly, stay single for at last a year to just take dating and romance off the table.

    Your life is a mess, you are a mess. I say that with no intention to offend or to be mean. It is just a statement of fact, establishing a baseline from which you can work towards fixing yourself, improving yourself, being happier in yourself, before you even consider sharing your life with another man. You are not currently capable of making good judgement calls and decisions, so you should keep your life as simple as possible. Eliminate all the toxic people from your life and retain those who are positive to be around, move to a new city if that is what it takes.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Don't let the title "Dad" fool you. This man is a parasite. Think of him as a sperm donor and try to detach from Hallmark notions of "Dad".

  8. #17
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Your father is a loser and a user. He's taken advantage of you far too many times and you let him do it. Cut this guy out of your life, dont let him talk you into anything to do with money, dont help him with things, dont let him use your car. Seriously, dont have contact with him. He's made a mess out of your life for far too long.

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