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Thread: She slept with someone while we were broken up

  1. #11

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    Yeap we have gone through all that, we're both in the medical field so that was the first thing we jumped to and did all the tests but nothing pointed to endo.

  2. #12
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    I think it was a real slap in the face that she slept with the guy-and told you about it-when she does not sleep with you.

    You deserve a more fulfilling relationship.

  3. #13
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    I think it was a real slap in the face that she slept with the guy-and told you about it-when she does not sleep with you.

    You deserve a more fulfilling relationship.
    Oh yeah...... I missed that! I can't believe she would run out in the first 2 weeks and sleep with another guy after not wanting to be intimate with you for years (and "not knowing why"). I would bring that up to her and politely move on.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    I wrote one reply, but after reading your update, I deleted it. She didn't want to seek counseling when you first suggested it. To me it'd be too little too late. When you get time and distance away from this relationship, you will shake your head at why you stayed so long. Go no contact and move on.

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  6. 09-16-2019, 04:33 PM

  7. #15
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Andrina
    People who have their egos bruised can sometimes seek out someone else's attention to prove to themselves they are still desirable.
    Maybe she needed her ego bruised while she was still with the OP, then she could have sought out HIS attention and actually been intimate with HIM!

    Not buying the devastated and hurt thing!

  8. #16
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    Originally Posted by Camber 2019
    Maybe she needed her ego bruised while she was still with the OP, then she could have sought out HIS attention and actually been intimate with HIM!

    Not buying the devastated and hurt thing!
    I don't think they read his second post. It changes everything.

  9. #17
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    If you'd started this thread saying that you're trying to reconcile with someone, just two months after breaking up, who you hadn't had an intimately rewarding relationship with for three of your four years together I would probably tell you that moving on is the better idea. It's just really hard to see what's there, as it already sounds like you've devoted years, together, to trying to work on something that just got worse as you tried to make it work.

    How does 60 days apart change that?

    Of course, it's more than understandable that her sleeping with someone else would sting in this context. Doesn't really change my earlier sentiments, however. If anything, just adds another layer to them. Basically, it sounds like you've both spent a good portion of your 20s without being remotely close to satisfied intimately. Yes, you have feelings for each other, would love to be the source of the other's satisfaction. But it just doesn't seem like it's in the cards.

    Just doesn't seem like you two work very well together but are both kind of addicted to "trying to make it work." This whole instance, in a way, is not a curveball/barrier to you guys working but just another example of that.

  10. #18

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    Thank you everyone for your input, really appreciate it!

  11. #19
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
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    I feel like this is one of those instances where you love the idea of each other, but not so much each other personally.


    Did you ask if it hurt her when she slept with the other guy? If in the back of her mind, she thought that maybe her physical pain would be different with someone else, and allowed herself to get swept up in the moment... well, I can understand it, even if I don't necessarily justify it.


    The bottom line, though, is that physical intimacy is one of the reasons you broke it off, and then she slept with someone else immediately after. I would be hurt, too.

  12. #20
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    I doubt you were as hurt as her, after you dumped her after a 4-year relationship.

    Did you expect her to to sit at home and wait for you to change your mind. Unbelievable! What an ego!

    She should be the one deciding if she can trust and forgive YOU.
    This 100%... What an ego indeed!

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