Ex boyfriend wants to “take things slow”

[Ellaho]

Hi guys, it’s been nearly 4 months since we broke up. As I said in my previous post my ex still snoops on my social media account since he has my password (i know because i get login notifications). He saw that there were a few guys messaging me. He then messaged me showing some signs of jealousy however he did realise I have no obligation to him since we are broken up. I still wanted to reconcile and I told him his behaviour is confusing and I don’t know what to do. I mentioned that after we broke up it was he who told me to “move on” and so i presumed he didn’t want me - to which he said was untrue. I also told him that our “in between status” needs to end if he has no intention of getting back together and that I would need to cut off all contact (this made him sad). He said to me he wants to take things slowly but doesn’t know how “slow”. How should we do this without being too overwhelming on each other?

[boltnrun]

Are you still having sex with him and sexting him?

If you stopped, that would explain his sudden "sadness".

How does HE define "take it slow"?

And why don't you change your Facebook password? Do you like that he's reading your messages? Do you think it means he still loves you?

[MirrorKnight]

Sorry but you have learnt nothing from your previous threads. Why even bother asking the same question over and over in different variations?

You have very low self-worth and self-respect. You are still delusional about your situation. If you allow yourself to be used as a sexual object, then that is what will happen to you, until he gets bored of your and/or a new girlfriend forbids further contact with you.

[Wiseman2]

Change your password. Believe him. and move on. Stop playing games.

he has my password.
he who told me to “move on”

[Cherylyn]

First of all change your FB password.

He shouldn't be snooping because it is deceitful behavior.

Why would you want to reconcile with a deceitful man? I wouldn't trust him!

He told you to "move on" so do just that.

Take things slowly means he doesn't have any sincere intentions for you. At best, he wants to remain your acquaintance.

Cease all contact so you can "move on" for real.

[MissCanuck]

Sorry but you have learnt nothing from your previous threads. Why even bother asking the same question over and over in different variations?

You have very low self-worth and self-respect. You are still delusional about your situation. If you allow yourself to be used as a sexual object, then that is what will happen to you, until he gets bored of your and/or a new girlfriend forbids further contact with you.

I have to agree with the above.

OP, what you can't see right now because you're still quite young and inherently inexperienced is that this boy isn't going to be the great love of your life. You will have other boyfriends. He will have other girlfriends. You two will probably do this back-and-forth for a couple more months until one of you tires of it or starts dating someone else. The chances that this comes together and stays together as something healthy and long-lasting are just about zero now.

As we've told you in your other threads, you are only prolonging your own pain here.

[smackie9]

He's just keeping you at arms length to prevent you from going out with other guys, but has no intention of rekindling your relationship. He's still controlling you, and you are still being a damn fool. Cut him off, change your PW to everything, block delete his number, and if he every contacts you, don't read it or respond.

[Hollyj]

Why didn't you change your password? Are you still sleeping with him and sexting, because that is not "slow"?

Why have you not cut him off? He is stringing you along with this "slow" crap. Either, he wants you, or he doesn't.

You are really handling this poorly. We have given you a lot of advice, which you seem to be ignoring. What do you gain from this site?

Go to the Journal section. You are gaining nothing from us.

[maew]

Ella he just wants to keep his hooks in just in case he doesn't have any other options... if he wanted to be in a relationship with you, he would be.

Do what you are gonna do but this isn't going to lead to the outcome you want.

[Hollyj]

And, why don't you respond to our comments? I think that that is disrespectful!

I have asked you repeatedly what the family issues were, which you NEVER answered?

I think that we should show you, the same respect that you have shown us.