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Thread: Are these her real thoughts, or is it just drunk her talking

  1. #1
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    Are these her real thoughts, or is it just drunk her talking

    So there is this girl that I used to have a thing with but we broke it off because we were both going to college, but we are not that far away and deep down inside I wanted to keep it going. We still keep in touch though, which is good. Well she drunk FaceTimed me the other night and essentially talked about how she was not over me. Not like in a sad way, it was a very lighthearted and funny conversation. She would say stuff like “if we ended up together” or was talking about how she has not had sex in college because she “wants to find the right one” but also talked about wanting to have sex with me, and she got really sad when she found out I had hooked up with someone (probably should’ve kept that one under wraps). She also was talking about how she wished we went to the same school and how she wants me to visit/ her visit me. Then this morning she texted me and was like “im so sorry if I said anything stupid last night I dont remember anything.” This is basically the second time she has done this, and I have no idea what to think. Are drunk words sober thoughts? Or is this just drunk her talking.

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    She was probably drunk and feeling lonely and a bit sorry for herself. I texted exes after I moved a few hundred miles away from home and had a couple of drinks and was feeling lonely and sorry for myself. I didn't want any of them, I just wanted attention.

    That being said, how about you take her up on one of her suggestions? Offer to come visit her at her college. See what she says.

  3. #3
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    Oh ya, she tried to visit last weekend but could not due to an accounting test. It was actually funny, she was jokingly mad at me for not pushing it more and saying we could study together or something and was jokingly blaming it on me. I already do have a visit planned technically in like 2 months when I go there to play hockey then like 2 weekends after that when we play them in football. She plans rn to come down November 1st or something.

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    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    You best make sure that you tell her outright that this doesn't mean you are in a relationship (should you two have sexy time) because you'll bugger each other up for studying when your minds are all a flutter wondering what bopping each other actually means. Unless of course you actually want a commitment with her and be exclusive while you're at College? I suspect you broke up "because you were both going to college" because you wanted to be single in order to enjoy the opportunities?????

    Keep it real. What exactly DO YOU want with this girl that drunk calls you for booty but is too non confident to actually just come out and ask you to do her.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    I think she knows exactly what she said, and reneged on it, by pretending she doesn't remember. It's pretty passive/aggressive, but she's not comfortable yet or trusting.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok, test this. Talk to her when she's sober follow up on the visiting remark. Do not discuss your sex life with people you want to date. That and the drunk factime chitchat will end you in the friendzone.

    Don't entertain drunk chitchat. Tell her you "gotta go" and you'll contact her tomorrow. Don't enable it since it seems to be a repeat performance now. This is as confusing as you allow it to be.
    Originally Posted by OT630
    She would say stuff like “if we ended up together” or was talking about how she has not had sex in college because she “wants to find the right one”

    she got really sad when she found out I had hooked up with someone.

  8. #7
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    Yes, it's drunk talk.

    She is young, immature, got a little horny and lonely, and called you up. Do not take it seriously, or you will wind up hurt and disappointed.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Do take it seriously if you just want to get laid but be sure to tell her that it doesn't mean you're back in a relationship that its just the two of you scratching an itch. If you can't do that or you don't want to be in a FWB/FB situation with her, then just ignore her attempts to draw you in and stop taking her drunk calls outright.

  10. #9
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    Of course it is drunk talk. She already knows you and has a past history, so it makes these alcohol-fueled lonely and horny statements more safe. However, if you were only interested in a hook up with her, your post never would have happened. You would just visit and seek to hook up. In other words, you clearly are interested in her with more than just some scheduled physical rolling around. It would be beneficial for you to get clear in your mind what you want from this and then have a few sober conversations with her about it.

    One caution - in these current times, as a guy, this statement sets off alarms “im so sorry if I said anything stupid last night I dont remember anything.” If that's her standard way of handling things, I would be very concerned about any sex with her when she is not sober.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    So... if you want to keep it going, why haven't you asked her out by now or rekindled your old romance? What's with all the online chats and Facetiming? I would limit any contact with her, period, if neither of you have the guts to move this forward.

    It's obvious she likes you and has residual feelings for you. You seem to have the same feelings also. Two people wouldn't make it a point to carry on any conversations at all or visit each other or even let each other know they are visiting if it wasn't the case. Call a spade a spade. If you're not in a position to date her, stop talking with each other. This back and forth is inhibiting each of you from dating or finding more fulfilling relationships.


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