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Thread: Am I a bad person ?

  1. #11
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    Do you have a pattern with guys like this?

  2. #12
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    It was my house, so he had to leave

  3. #13
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    No I donít have a pattern

  4. #14
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    The majority of your relationship has been bad. You need to understand why you stayed and tolerated the emotional abuse. When did the mother die?

  5.  

  6. #15
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    You should have ended things, before he did. Long ago. I do not understand why you think you are a "bad person?"

  7. #16
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    You're still allowing him to influence your thoughts. Because HE said you're a bad person and a cheater, you believe you are a bad person and a cheater.

    It's time to get rid of the mindset that any opinion he has of you is valid, because it's not. Stop listening to him. He hasn't had your best interests in mind for a long time now, so why give his opinion any weight?

  8. #17
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    This is from March:

    "Broke up but still in love with each other
    I hope someone can gently shed some light and help me, as Iím struggling.

    I met my previous boyfriend..we instantly hit it off..had so much in common, interest, morals, plans, dreams, everything.....
    He was my soulmate...and I was his.....❤️ We wanted to get married....

    The problem... he past history of previous girlfriends have left him with a lot of scars and Insecurities.
    He tried to commit suicide twice before I met him over broken relationships and things going on in his life...with no counselling afterwards?

    I had no problem as I thought we could see this through.

    I moved in with him....

    Heís thoughts and jealousy got worse....

    Long story short....whenever thereís any situation, he thinks the worse of me...instead of thinking rationally, he thinks Iím out to hurt him, or not care,

    I find this extremely draining...and I lose my temper because of it...
    I gave up my house, moved counties and changed jobs to be with this guy..and he still thinks the worse of me.

    When I get annoyed with him, he has a go at me saying Iíve got anger problems..
    When Iím just reacting to him.
    I tried to get him to get counselling, and he said itís couple counselling we need...!
    Complete oblivious to his way...and blaming me...

    .

    Anyway...constant arguments have driven us to split up...and itís painful in both sides.
    Heís finally admitted before we broke up, that his judged me badly, by his exes....
    As much as I broke down with relief...it feels to late...Iím still in love with him, but Iím so angry that he wonít see someone ...and pushes it on me...blaming me for not being soft and taking the accusations and thoughts he throws at me..
    I feel I made a big commitment to this relationship by moving in, the least he could do is commit and see a counsellor...


    Anyway...weíve broke up...
    And he messsged the other day to say...he definitely knows he dosnt want me back as a girlfriend ever..as we was rubbish as a couple! Which was hurtful....
    But thinks we can be wonderful friends?

    This is where Iím confused...how can you go from lovers to friends?
    Iím struggling with that, and asked for a few months apart as itís to raw for me...

    Surly, if he loved me he would struggle to be friends too?
    Or am I seeing it different"



    So many red flags, from the start. Four months in, he and his son broke into your phone, but you stuck around.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    I havnt cheated or took any numbers or anything, but I think, if Iím thinking of someone else, it proves the relationship isnít right...
    Don't you think that you should have thought that the relationship "wasn't right" when he was calling you all of those names, he wasn't holding a job and he treated you like a deposit in the toilet?

    Please look into getting your own therapy so that you work on your confidence, self-worth and boundaries with a professional that will keep you away from men like him because the first time he belittles you like that, you'll run from them instead of hanging around until you (think) you've found someone else. If you don't work on your codependency and self-worth, you are more likely than not, going to be attracted to someone just as bad as this guy... likely just like this time, it will be someone you "instantly hit it off with" that turned out to be an abusive arse.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Perfect! Now redo your house, rid yourself of all remnants of this guy. Change the locks. Redo all your social media, including blocking and deleting him and all his people from all your messaging apps and social media. Then go out and do fun/nice things for yourself and with family and friends. When ready fix yourself up and get on some dating apps to start messaging and meeting men. "In recovery" is just one of the red flags to avoid next time.
    Originally Posted by Redfox1877
    It was my house, so he had to leave

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