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Thread: Triggers

  1. #1
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    Triggers

    Can someone e plain the logic in believing that a trigger simply means that your arenít over the one who caused the trigger? My thought is it can go one of both ways.

    1. You arenít over your Ex
    2. Youíve learned not to fall into the same patterns so a trigger is a red flag.
    I had an argument with my girlfriend this morning about something and because it was a trigger to me she labeled me insecure because of the trigger. Where a behavior of hers concerned me and I address it and all hell broke lose.
    Can you guys give me your opinions. Iím interested in knowing peoples thoughts in this subject.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Your post is a bit confusing. Are you saying that, during the argument, you mentioned she had hit a ďtrigger,Ē after which she became more upset?

    Seems the subtext here is that one of you doesnít believe the other is over their ex. Just canít quite figure out whoís who.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    ďTriggers are anything that remind someone of previous trauma. To be triggered is to have an intense emotional or physical reaction, such as a panic attack, after encountering a trigger.Ē

    Just because a behaviour reminds you of a time when you were hurt in the past doesnít make it a trigger.

    That said doesnít mean your feelings arenít valid... just that you need to consider whether those feelings really do apply to the present situation and the people involved.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Keep it simple. Don't use people as therapists to either fix issues or diagnose you with trendy nonsense. Be frank. Be plain. Be clear and sincere. If you two can't get along then break up rather than call each other names.

    Never try to fix or change people. Particularly in this manipulative fashion claiming if she does X it reminds you of Y and therefore she must stop because it ruffles your feathers. You can not dictate to people what they do or what they say. You observe and over time decide if you can deal with them...or not.

    If you're not ready to date don't use bs like "triggers' and force people to handle you with kid gloves or walk on eggs around you. Just don't date until you're ready. The best way to ensure a crappy life is to embrace a victim mentality.
    Originally Posted by alex17466
    I had an argument with my girlfriend this morning about something and because it was a trigger to me she labeled me insecure because of the trigger. Where a behavior of hers concerned me and I address it and all hell broke lose.
    Last edited by Wiseman2; 09-15-2019 at 12:00 AM.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Your definition of 'trigger' is incorrect.

    A trigger is something that causes a situation.

    You aren't over your ex. This means the ex still consumes your mind night and day.

    You've learned not to fall into the same patterns so a trigger is a red flag. This sentence doesn't make any sense. You've learned not to fall into the same patterns due to remembering negative experiences and past mistakes. I don't know what the word 'trigger' has to do with your sentence.

    When you had an argument with your girlfriend this morning, she labeled you as insecure due to your argumentative behavior. The trigger was her behavior which caused you to to engage in an argument with her.

    You need to use the word 'trigger' in its proper context. Once you understand how to use the word 'trigger,' you'll have a better definition of the word.

    For example: "A migraine trigger could be MSG" which means the food additive MSG could cause the onset of a migraine headache.

    Another example: "Bad memories trigger my foul mood" which means just that: Negative memories causes my bad mood.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Better yet, don't use the word 'trigger' at all. Forget semantics. Own your stuff instead.


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