Oi, you’re too fat to ride a scooter

[1a1a]

Is what Scum English guy felt the need to call out to me from his fancy hotel balcony as I was trying to get home after a very long work day and disappointing venture to a couple of Melbourne venues trying to get out amongst the people.

Earlier today someone started messaging me telling me he had my. Idea and why is my bush so hairy and he has it on good authority that I smell (I’ve never ever ever taken nudes let alone sent them so this is unlikely but still). That dumb **** wouldn’t send me this image he claimed to have and I blocked him but it still bummed me out. Then talking to a tinder match who turns out to be broken and in love with a woman in Florida. Then waste of space guy told me I was fat, just after I’d been noticing on that ride hike that I have a fat roll on my hip now that wasn’t there before (yeah, I am fat, getting fatter. This job has seen me gain weight not lose it that really sucks)

Then I scooter past A domestic violence event. The guy didn’t hit her but he was screaming at her with a voice like a coiled fist GET IN THE ROOM YOU **** OR ILL KNOCK YOU OUT YOU PIECE OF ****. I doubled back to act as witness but what
Can I do? She acquiesced and kept walking with him so I couldn’t tell her she deserves so much more kindness than that. I thought about filming or calling the cops but I didn’t want to enrage him further and the cops would be too slow.

Then I read some very sage feedback to a post I made about work about how people are well within their rights to be unhappy with me if I’m perpetually late and it’s wise and true but they don’t know, I’m already trying to not be perpetually late, it’s hard. Today I ran ten minutes late because I prioritised getting extra sleep. I skipped breakfast, I skipped coffee. I can’t skip putting clothes on. Usually why I run late is because I have thought i can fit more tasks into a time frame than I actually can. I’m working on it but this job tries me, a lot of times being on time means going into sleep debt and I feel absolutely lousy in that. What if that’s a cop out what if I just suck?

And I’m definitely fat, so fat strangers are heckling me now. And I continue to feel like find actual mutual attraction and love is a complete pipe dream. All I get is weirdoes insulting me

[abitbroken]

Then I read some very sage feedback to a post I made about work about how people are well within their rights to be unhappy with me if I’m perpetually late and it’s wise and true but they don’t know, I’m already trying to not be perpetually late, it’s hard. Today I ran ten minutes late because I prioritised getting extra sleep.

how is that extra 10 minutes of sleep going to make or break your health or life or existence. Stop making excuses. Go to bed 10 minutes earlier if that extra 10 minutes of sleep is what you need. Being on time or early shows you give a darn about other people or your responsibilities.


(yeah, I am fat, getting fatter. This job has seen me gain weight not lose it that really sucks)

So its your job's fault? Unless you are a professional donut taster, your job does not affect your weight. ditch the scooter and take a bicycle. learn to make healthy meals. Don't skip a healthy breakfast. Stop blaming other things and people for your problems.

What does another woman being mistreated have to do with your love prospects? Nothing. But you see your hesitation to act is the fault of the woman who went back inside so didn't give you the opportunity to act -- next time, act. Or don't act.

[boltnrun]

If the other people are able to get to work on time, you are too.

You admit you try to do too much in the morning.

What I do is set up my morning the night before. It literally takes 15 minutes to set out my clothes, shoes, pack a lunch and have my keys, lunch bag and shoes all set up in front of the door. I like to drink tea in the morning so I set out the tea cup, spoon and the makings for my cup of tea the night before. I have a towel, wash cloth and razor set out too so I don't have to get those items in the morning.

And I do travel for work as well, but I can still do the set up the night before.

Instead of telling yourself you "can't" be on time, how about telling yourself you can?

As for rude people, well, you'll never see them again. That's what I tell myself when I encounter someone who's being rude; I'll never see that person again so I most certainly won't allow them to impact my life in any way.

[Hollyj]

How is your diet?

When things slow down, maybe you should look for another job that is closer to home.

[1a1a]

If the other people are able to get to work on time, you are too.

You admit you try to do too much in the morning.

What I do is set up my morning the night before. It literally takes 15 minutes to set out my clothes, shoes, pack a lunch and have my keys, lunch bag and shoes all set up in front of the door. I like to drink tea in the morning so I set out the tea cup, spoon and the makings for my cup of tea the night before. I have a towel, wash cloth and razor set out too so I don't have to get those items in the morning.

And I do travel for work as well, but I can still do the set up the night before.

Ahhhhhh, I legit already do this on good days * is surprised and happy to hear someone else suggesting it* pull out some clothes, Pack the suitcase and stash it in the vehicle, brew the coffee ready to go in the keep cup.


Evidently too indulgent. Cafe breakfasts, usually like a cafe roll for dinner. Often relying on whatever shops are around on account of no time for food prep and nothing to prep it with although I have been trying to think of more healthy meals I can cook in a microwave (tuna and rice with some spring onion and salady things remains the stand out winner but I’m trying to not rely on eating meat too argh)

I have jobs at home, in some respects going on tour is surely like a dream job. I want to see all the places. It’s certainly turning out to be taxing on mental and physical health though...

[Batya33]

So yesterday I had to be at a meeting around 8:30 - which is much earlier than normal, in a location I've only been to once, on a day when I had to have my child at the bus stop by 7am and my husband happened to have a late afternoon meeting meaning that my exercise regimen would be in jeopardy because of childcare. My gym is often in use by 5am -only a few treadmills. I could have risked waiting to exercise at night and couldn't fathom sitting through a 6 hour training seminar without having exercised.

Anyway, I set my alarm for 4:30am - to make sure I could make it to the gym, shower, get me and my son ready, get him to the school bus and me to the meeting with the lunch I'd prepped the night before. My point also is often his bus runs late - so if it had been reliable I could have waited to have breakfast after the bus BUT I didn't want to risk a late/no-show bus and being late for the meeting. I sacrificed a lot of sleep, sacrificed a peaceful breakfast, exercised at 4:40am, etc but it felt awesome to arrive at the meeting 15 minutes early (and I built more time in because the last time we had a meeting there I couldn't find the location from the train station, same deal this time). That way after the hectic morning I could sit for awhile with adults and sip coffee before the meeting started.

That is a bit more of an extreme but only a bit. I am constantly on a tight schedule on school mornings and in 5 years I have never once missed his 7:10-20am school bus. I have never once been late for work, either (3 years this stint and in the 15 plus years I worked before I had my child I was late only in extreme emergencies and typically emergencies that affected others - massive train delays, a flooded subway station, a blizzard ,etc.) I'm typically early. People really appreciate it especially at work (well at work it is expected but cumulatively it engenders trust in me and my work ethic). I had very stressful and unpredictable schedules. I do now too a lot of the time especially with childcare.

I also do lots of night before prep and I have to prep for my child too -his lunch, his backpack etc so that I don't have to wake up earlier than 5:55. And I have a 7 to 10 minute cushion for slow elevator, slow moving child, last minute whatever. It can be done and it is your choice. And if it's too much for you I agree get a job that is closer to home although I really think it's your attitude/mindset you have to shift. It's not about trying -doing. Wake up an hour earlier than you think you need, then slowly push it to 45 minutes, 40 etc until you find your personal sweet spot. I've had to do that as well especially in the beginning of the school year or for any new situation. Yes you will have less sleep for awhile and that may motivate you to be even more efficient and multi task even more.

I've been the victim of chronically late people. I've been hangry and worse, stuck in the rain, stuck with a screaming child, missed the first part of a movie or had to sit in the front row, sweated to get somewhere on time only to have the person been late and one time almost missed a really important work deadline because my coworker was late for careless reasons. It's awful and really stressful and physically exhausting to be a victim of that.

[Hollyj]

Can't you prepare a week's worth of meals on your day off?

[figureitout23]

First off shame on that guy, screw him.

Second, you should really try to take some responsibility for the trajectory of your life.

Maybe start by seeing a Dr. see what steps you can take to aide with your health.

I imagine if you work 12 hour days you have many days off, not familiar with labor laws in Europe but I’d imagine there’s a limit to how many day you could work that many hours consecutively.

I kinda feel like that fact is being glossed over, you have enough days off to recharge to prepare for the week, meal prep, etc.

Also diet plays such a huge role in energy. Not assuming you eat bad, but if you do maybe look into to making some changes

[Rose Mosse]

I agree with FIO. It reflects on him though. Be cool. I hope you come back and let us know how it's going. My husband also has 14 hour days and it can take a toll. He has a fairly strict routine and it helps that his meals are planned. I help where I can to keep him on track and keep our pantries fully stocked. We have a lot of dry spices we use and I like drying home grown herbs and things too. Maybe it's sugar and carbs (or hidden sugars/carbs) that are causing chronic fatigue also, needing more rest. Your body also has to work harder to digest and process certain foods. Eat more fiber if you can and lean meat to keep you going.

Don't be afraid of a roll here and there. I lost too much weight once and became unhealthy. Everything hung off of me and my collarbones and ribs stuck out. I scrambled to get my weight back on and love my body the way I am. I think some of your post was tongue in cheek and you're much tougher than you let on. Ride away, I say. When the fun and shenanigans are done with the tour, have some idea of meal plans and such to keep you better on track. Diet plays a big role in the way we feel. The way we look as a result of it, I think, is secondary.

[1a1a]

The other side of sleep I’m still feeling very flat. On a full week we only get one day off and this one is it so good day to seek to improve the diet situation.

Thank you for your replies. A strong push to shift perception which is surely more helpful in the long run