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Thread: Mixed messages from ex boyfriend

  1. #1
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    Mixed messages from ex boyfriend

    Hey guys following my last two posts my ex has been sending me some mixed messages. I’ve cut down on the FWB and I went NC last week which only lasted two days since he messaged me (and I gave in). Following this, he has been initiating contact with me everyday although conversations are still short. He has said things to me like “would you hook up with me if we were at a party together” and when I told him a guy that asked for my number has been texting me he was curious and wanted to know what this guy looked like, his name and what he was saying. He also began to show more interest and made it known that he has his eyes on me. All of these “messages” contradict his initial stance of moving on which I see as a positive. We were planning on meeting up at his house because he had a “free”, yesterday when I asked him what day he said “i dont know i’m gonna see if I feel like it”. This pissed me off because it felt like things only revolved around him, prior to this I asked him if he ever saw us getting back together to which he said “maybe”. I then proceeded to block him on facebook and am waiting for him to initiate contact again. I still get notifications of him logging onto my social media accounts and we both have not spoken to anyone new. At first I was happy with the FWB arrangement but now it feels degrading to have gone from a priority to option. If he were to initate contact with me again I really want to know where his mind it at and whether he would want to slowly work things out again (not reconciling immediately), i would be open to a sexual relationship but only if it was exclusive and then slowly ease into being official again. However, i do not know how to express this without being too wordy and pressuring which tires him.

    Should I also ask if he would be fine if I were to have sex with other guys? I really want to see if he still cares. The fact that he became slightly jealous as I explained make me confused since he said we should just “move on” when we broke up.

  2. #2
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    Don't play games trying to make him jealous. That's silly and immature.

    This guy will keep jerking you around for as long as you keep allowing him to. That's not love.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    He's just curious, OP. It's a bit like watching a train wreck. People stop and stare and want to see what happened. That's what he's doing with you. He's not interested in you and after everything, the break up and all, it doesn't appear that he respects you. There are people like that out there. I hope you realize you're helping him be more of the jerk he already is.

  4. #4
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Rather than stoop to the level of playing games, why not walk away with your head held high, and your self respect intact? You'll likely end up losing the battle, but winning the war.

    Keep in mind that we set the standards on how others treat us.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Don't play games, just move on.
    Originally Posted by Ellaho
    Should I also ask if he would be fine if I were to have sex with other guys? I really want to see if he still cares. he said we should just “move on” when we broke up.

  7. #6
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    Forget this guy, OP.

    You're both so young that you're both eventually going to move on from each other anyway. The only choice you have to make now is how painful you allow that path to be for you.

    And heavens no, do not go asking him what he thinks if you have sex with someone else. Don't flush your dignity down the toilet like that.Playing games to make him jealous isn't going to work, as he'll drop you again the moment he gets you in bed. I guarantee that your strategy isn't going to work, and will only make you feel foolish when he still doesn't want to get back together. You're confusing sex and love, essentially, and equating jealousy with caring. You're likely going to learn the hard way that's not usually how it works.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
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    He wants to control you so he "wins" the breakup. Being able to sleep with you while he looks for the next girl keeps him on top and his anxiety low. It's obviously a game. Him asking if you would still hook up with him is not an indication that he's interested in getting back together with you. It's a tough lesson to learn but realize he's trying to use you and you're letting him do it.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    What sounds better to you? "Making love" or "Hooking up?" Aren't you worthy of someone who wants you all to themselves? Faithful? Exclusive? Not willing to ever let you go?

    You'll never find the treasure when you're settling for some dried up husk that's totally starting to smell.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You're better off with a Chia pet than this guy.🐏🐏
    Originally Posted by Ellaho
    At first I was happy with the FWB arrangement but now it feels degrading to have gone from a priority to option.


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