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Thread: I'm in love with my coworker but she has a boyfriend

  1. #1
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    I'm in love with my coworker but she has a boyfriend

    I'm in love with my coworker. However, she has a boyfriend so I cant tell her. we've hung out alone together before and she definitely seems to enjoy being with me. and she talks to me about absolutely everything and we make good eye contact and I feel like have great chemistry, and she always looks directly at me when I'm driving. not only this, but shes in a terrible situation with her boyfriend. they live with his dad and just got an eviction notice and she says shes going to try to find an apartment with him, and I just dont see how it could possibly work...but I've been afraid to tell her how I feel both due to the bf, and because she isnt exactly in a great place right now.

  2. #2
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    So she’s playing you. Not a good catch. BOYFRIEND is all you need to know .

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    She's an adult, she can make her own decisions on who she wants to date and at current, it is not you.

    If she spends a lot of time with you alone, you also need to ask yourself if you are comfortable with her doing that with someone else if you ever were together with her; knowing that your motive with her is you want to have a relationship and so would potentially any "friend".

    Which leads to the next point - If you don't want to be her friend, you shouldn't pretend to be just her friend. That's manipulative and dishonest while making you look unattractive in the end to her compared to someone else who is new, honest and straightforward if the time came when she were to ever be single.

    But, Trust me speaking from personal, recent experience - you don't want to break them up and you don't want to date a coworker.

    When it works out, great. When it usually doesn't? Ugh.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member shellyf62's Avatar
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    Wold you really want to be with someone who spends alone time with other guys?

    If she is will to do this with you, she is willing to do this to you.

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  6. #5
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    Focus on something else. Devote your time to a hobby and run away from temptation.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Nahh... just keep it professional. You're right, OP. Bad timing and not so appropriate considering she's in a relationship.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    You're the one who needs to take a step back and do the right thing as a man. She has a boyfriend.

    Don't get involved.

    Splash cold water on your face, take a cold shower and wake up! Stop this nonsense.

    Remain polite and professional. Back off.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    If she really liked you back, she'd be with you. But she's not, she is with him.

    Secondly, ask yourself what kind of girl she is to be hanging out with a guy, getting this close to him, while she has a boyfriend.
    It might seem like no big deal to you right now, but if you ever did date her, you would be the boyfriend and she could be doing these same things with some other guy behind your back.

    This is a bad option all the way around.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    She sees you as a coworker/friend. That's all you need to know. And you already offered her a place in your house-share.
    Originally Posted by drivenfuture
    she has a boyfriend so I cant tell her
    shes in a terrible situation with her boyfriend.
    she says shes going to try to find an apartment with him
    I've been afraid to tell her how I feel both due to the bf

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    You both lack integrity. Neither of you have placed proper boundaries when she is taken. You're in an emotional affair with her. Look up articles on that subject and you will see that the both of you are definitely having one. Decent, taken women don't hang out with guys who have a crush on them (yes, she knows). Decent men don't hang out with women they have a crush on hoping she will dump her bf.

    Two wrongs always results in disaster. If you want a gf, join Meetup.com or get on a dating app.

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