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Thread: birthday present advice

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Give him both tickets. Make a nice dinner for the two of you and present them. Let his friends take him out to a craft brewery if they want to. Let his brother/family decide what they want to do on their own. Try not to orchestrate this much. A simple dinner with the tickets is a fine gift.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Give him both tickets. Make a nice dinner for the two of you and present them. Let his friends take him out to a craft brewery if they want to. Let his brother/family decide what they want to do on their own. Try not to orchestrate this much. A simple dinner with the tickets is a fine gift.
    This. Keep it simple. Let him decide what he wants to do and then orchestrate the planning and events around his desires.

    And it's not that he and his friends shouldn't go to the bar, it's that you shouldn't suggest it given recent events... it might trigger some yucky feelings in him if it reminds him of your night the other night... people are simply suggesting you avoid doing this so the birthday goes by smoothly.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Give him both tickets. Make a nice dinner for the two of you and present them. Let his friends take him out to a craft brewery if they want to. Let his brother/family decide what they want to do on their own. Try not to orchestrate this much. A simple dinner with the tickets is a fine gift.
    I agree, that'd be perfect.

  4. #14
    Bronze Member quark's Avatar
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    See that's the thing about this place. While I appreciate the outside opinions (I wouldn't keep coming here otherwise) nobody really knows your SO or your relationship like you.

    While he was bummed at the thought of his brother not -actually- inviting him over..he said of course he would want to go to the game with me. When I said getting a ticket for myself is hardly a present, he scoffed. Anyhow..I think I made the right choice just coming out with it instead of trying to pull off a surprise. So, thanks.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Did he like it? The tickets were a thoughtful gift.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I agree, just tell him and work it out as a couple.

    This is your relationship and as far as I am concerned, you two come first. Not his friends, not the brother.

    I hope you both have a nice time together and enjoy his birthday together.

    Also if it means that much to hang out with the brother, then he should make plans with him another time.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Not everyone likes surprises especially if it requires long distance travel to do anything such as a game.

    Even though you don't want to spoil the surprise, in this case, I would tell your boyfriend the truth. Tell him you wanted to set it up as a surprise with the party as the original rouse, however, you decided it would be best to tell him so he can decide who should attend; his brother or you. I'd tell him now so he can decide what to do.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    Not everyone likes surprises especially if it requires long distance travel to do anything such as a game.

    Even though you don't want to spoil the surprise, in this case, I would tell your boyfriend the truth. Tell him you wanted to set it up as a surprise with the party as the original rouse, however, you decided it would be best to tell him so he can decide who should attend; his brother or you. I'd tell him now so he can decide what to do.
    She did already lol. See four responses above.

  10. #19
    Bronze Member quark's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by itsallgrand
    Did he like it? The tickets were a thoughtful gift.
    He didn't jump for joy, but that is understandable considering he is still reeling from the fight and dealing with his feelings. I think deep down he is appreciative. It meant a lot to me for him to say that 'of course' he wants to go with me.

    We cuddled a little for the first time last night and I started crying at the thought of how close I came to losing him. He just doesn't want to deal with another bullsht event like our recent fight say, two years from now. I don't want to promise him it will never happen again because I feel like words are empty and cheap. I just need to work on actually showing him, but it's going to be a long road. And a promise I hope I can keep. I am more torn up about the prospect of losing him than anything I've ever been torn about, ever. So, while I'm hoping these feelings stick around to remind me to make better choices in the future.... the past hasn't proven that severe consequences change my actions at all. I need serious help for how self destructive, selfish and naive I can be. :(

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    No, you don't. Stop wallowing. It's not going to do you any good. You made a mistake. Don't spend the rest of your life trying to prove to a man that you're worth his time. Just keep being you and learn from the mistakes. Brush this off, honey. You are ok.

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