Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 19

Thread: Am I a bad person ?

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Posts
    66

    Am I a bad person ?

    Hey..

    My relationship with my partner of 20 months has been up and down, with him going through therapy, AA, grieving his mum dying and him trying to commit suicide.

    Iíve seen him though, and stood by him as I thought we was in love too.

    I started to think he was a narcissist bf as he was putting me down, saying Iím a tart, thick, out of his league intellectually, someone whoís not there for her son ( I work full time)

    I came home from work last week...( heís been out of work for 13 months, and just started a job)
    And he said the house is a mess, Iím dirty and disgusting..thick etc...he hasnít wanted sex with me for a month or so..and heís leaving.
    To which I agreed..Iíd had enough of being treated that bad.

    The next morning he said he should of finished it from date 3, and he was only with me as he was in a low place after his mum died.

    I met a customer at work 3 weeks ago, who was lovely and kind, and yes, maybe, I was bowled over by his kindness after someone being horrid to me for so long.
    And I told my partner, that someone has turned my head, and I was flattered by him, this has made me realise, the current partner isnít for me.

    I havnt cheated or took any numbers or anything, but I think, if Iím thinking of someone else, it proves the relationship isnít right...

    Heís leaving...but now telling everyone Iíve had an affair!

    The way I see it, if you treated me the way I deserved to be treated, I wouldnít of looked twice at someone else.

    I have no intention of starting something new with anyone...but just the fact my head was turned was enough for me to know, the love had died.

    Does this make me a bad person??

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    central Florida
    Posts
    3,661
    Gender
    Female
    Both of you have tried to hurt each other. Him with calling you names, and you by giving him the dig that another guy intrigued you. It's something you should've kept to yourself and used for your own insight, if you want to get technical about it.

    Don't beat yourself up, though, since you haven't ruined anything good. He's the one making himself look bad by gossiping. Your real friends will stick around. Cut all contact with this toxic person so you can have closure.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    5,997
    Gender
    Female
    No you arent a bad person. He does not sound like a good person, that's for sure. Be glad he's leaving, tell him not to let the door hit him in the ass on the way out.

  4. #4
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    156
    Gender
    Female
    You are not a bad person. You did ignore many red flags -- signs that your guy was never emotionally available to date you. Before you monkey branch to this new guy have you really stood on your own for any period of time, not dating anyone & figuring out who you are & what you want?

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    35,513
    Gender
    Male
    Sorry this is happening but his departure is a blessing. He is too damaged and broken to have a relationship. He needs rehab and a psychiatrist not a gf. Dating is not social work. It's not to take severely damaged broken people and try to fix them.
    Originally Posted by Redfox1877
    Heís leaving...

  7. #6
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    21,563
    Why did you ever sign up for any of this? Do you always choose projects?

    There is nothing redeeming about this person. You sound like you have some severe self esteem issues. This guy is a loser.

  8. #7
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Posts
    66
    I didnít sign up to this...this happened whilst together, no I do not choose ď projectsĒ

  9. #8
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    21,563
    I'm sure there were some warning signs. Was he an alcoholic when you met him?

  10. #9
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Posts
    66
    I have no intention of dating for a while..I was single for 4 years before this guy, and happily at that

  11. #10
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Posts
    66
    He was in recovery, for years, and losing his mum sent him back

  12. 09-15-2019, 12:08 PM

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •