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Thread: Decipher his words - I don't understand behaviour of men

  1. #41

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    Cherylyn: No, you're wrong in this case. Now you describe my ex, and I assure you these two are totally different. With my ex I went against my instinct and gut knowingly from before we even spoke.. This guy is good, honest and sincere, no harm or foul play..

  2. #42
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Qtip4free
    Cherylyn: No, you're wrong in this case. Now you describe my ex, and I assure you these two are totally different. With my ex I went against my instinct and gut knowingly from before we even spoke.. This guy is good, honest and sincere, no harm or foul play..
    Agree... I think the only part I agreed with in that post was that you may have been a little naive in assuming things would continue after you left... but that's mostly just because you didn't clarify that part up front.

    What I observe is that two consenting adults had a wonderfully romantic fling that you will eventually be able to look back on with fondness... maybe you will carry on as FWB for a short time while searching for the love of your life... at any rate, it doesn't sound like this guy is "the one"; that's okay cause it was still fun no?

  3. #43
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    This guy uses you for banking purposes so that his travel business is not traceable to his accounts. I don't know if anyone else saw that on page 3. OP, please do yourself a favour and try to take the rose-coloured lenses off. He's not guileless. He's using you as his secretary and he's using you because he likely doesn't have the basic requirements to make a simple booking on his own (ie. legitimate bank accounts, credit cards etc). His business as you mentioned is barely legal or not legal. The money we were previously talking about regarding him transferring funds to you was actually for his shady business dealings and has nothing to do with you or him seeing each other again.

    You seem to be in over your head and can't interpret his behaviours either. I don't know how old you are but it might be a good idea to limit contact with this person due to whatever dealings he has. If you have reservations about pursuing anything with him, I get it. He's off limits. If you want to go about sex only, you're a bit skittish about it which leads me to believe you're not hot about the idea. What you end up coming across as is someone who's very foolish (linking yourself as an accomplice to anything illegal), very inexperienced (not understanding him) and very vulnerable overall.

    None of this transaction tells me that this is consensual or between equal partners in any way. He's taking advantage of you and you are plain old confused and easy to take advantage of.

  4. #44
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Qtip4free
    Cherylyn: No, you're wrong in this case. Now you describe my ex, and I assure you these two are totally different. With my ex I went against my instinct and gut knowingly from before we even spoke.. This guy is good, honest and sincere, no harm or foul play..
    Well, obviously, once he got what he wanted which was sex, he grew tired of you quickly and he's moving onto someone else for his repeated pattern. You were just another notch on his belt. He dropped you off a cliff once he was done with you. I'm sorry. You were used for sex like an object. He demonstrated fake affection while he was with you and then when he was done with you, he ignored you. His lack of moral character speaks volumes as his actions speak louder than words nowadays. You can attest to this since he's completely ignoring you. In this regard, you are naive.

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  6. #45
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    Originally Posted by Qtip4free
    And I know from previous conversations and what he has expressed throughout the years that he is a believer of "love without attachment"..
    In the context of yours (and his) current dynamic this essentially sounds like, "I will come and go as I please". Why do you think there is anything more to "decipher" beyond that? I think (most) men are pretty straightforward, so, I wouldn't place any deeper meaning into his behavior and/or lack thereof.

  7. #46

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    Actually Cherylyn, you couldn't be further away from the truth, I don't understand how it got this twisted.
    And Rose Mosse, every part is consensual, even the 'shady' part which I see as no big deal. You don't have to fully comprehend. Mind you, on that account I will not be giving you the specific details outlining that situation. Obviously.

  8. #47
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Qtip4free
    Actually Cherylyn, you couldn't be further away from the truth, I don't understand how it got this twisted.
    And Rose Mosse, every part is consensual, even the 'shady' part which I see as no big deal. You don't have to fully comprehend. Mind you, on that account I will not be giving you the specific details outlining that situation. Obviously.
    I hope you will heal and recover, Qtip4free. Hang in there and stay strong. In the future, be smart, make sure your radar is up and remain cautious. You will be ok!

  9. #48
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    Originally Posted by Qtip4free
    Actually Cherylyn, you couldn't be further away from the truth, I don't understand how it got this twisted.
    And Rose Mosse, every part is consensual, even the 'shady' part which I see as no big deal. You don't have to fully comprehend. Mind you, on that account I will not be giving you the specific details outlining that situation. Obviously.
    I presume one of the things I speculated is correct. Or he's hiding funds. He's attempting to hide behind you.

    I'd stay far away. I don't fancy prison time.

  10. #49
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Qtip4free
    Actually Cherylyn, you couldn't be further away from the truth, I don't understand how it got this twisted.
    And Rose Mosse, every part is consensual, even the 'shady' part which I see as no big deal. You don't have to fully comprehend. Mind you, on that account I will not be giving you the specific details outlining that situation. Obviously.
    The fact that there are some other "twisted" points of view are simply a projection of those individuals based on their personal experiences. At the end of the day take it all with a grain of salt as they aren't wrong about their points of view and it's a good idea to remain objective.

    But seriously? Don't be an accessory in this guys shady activities... money laundering will get you jail time (or worse) in most countries... I get how / why that kind of life can seem intriguing but I am here to tell you that underneath that shiny layer, there are lots of dark and dirty things that go on that you do not want to be associated with.

  11. #50
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    I am not so sure about the 'he's hiding behind you' or 'using you as his bank account to hide money' argument. Since the money would be in her account, she could easily spend it as she wished and block him, never speak to him again. She could say it was a gift if questioned about it.

    How could he know for sure she wouldn't do that, it's a huge risk! And just dumb in my opinion.

    If it was a shady transaction and he wants to hide money for business reasons, would not it be much more prudent and smarter for him to open a separate private account in Antigua (as example) where it could not be discovered, not transfer to a woman he spent a mere 5 days with?

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