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Thread: Decipher his words - I don't understand behaviour of men

  1. #21
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    If getting cooked dinner, getting laid, and being served breakfast in bed is getting "used," sign me up.

  2. #22
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    Haha no, i know he went to a festival. There could've been another woman there, who knows. If I ask, he will tell me. He is not a liar. Well, everyone lies, but he wouldn't lie about that.
    I have his money. I think boys do stupid like that to keep woman hanging. Like leaving jackets at their house etc, a reason to call, or whatever. I have his money, as his line of work is not ehm legal of sorts.. For the intent of buying him a plane ticket when he needs to go.. Somewhere.. Which was not here, when we spoke earlier today. So in a couple of days, I will no longer be holding his money for him.
    I don't feel used, he didn't use me. My gut feeling is OK, I'm OK. I don't expect anything from him, though this does not take away from the fact that I now do want something from him. These are two different things.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    It's natural enough to want more of something you've enjoyed, but this is where the brain comes in to override going for that second helping. Some things truly are better as a one time thing.
    If you can think of it like that, and then turn your attention to something else to look forward to, you can stop yourself from getting hung up on getting more of him.
    Use the energy to do something else you really have wanted to do.

  4. #24
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    It was a fling.

    You should get his money back to him, and figure out if you want to continue the friendship.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Well, that changes things. This is a catch and release. No cigar.

  7. 09-11-2019, 03:53 PM

  8. #26
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    Originally Posted by melancholy123
    He got what he wanted which was to f*ck you.
    Ts ts ts language!

  9. #27
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Lol Dias.

    justice girl, you're trying to make it sound all fancy, but all it is either a fwb situation or casual sex, but it's definitely not a relationship.

  10. 09-11-2019, 04:22 PM

  11. #28
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    It's just some people's style to make casual sex an overall enjoyable experience beyond the bedroom. It doesn't have to mean connection, just some ( enjoyable, in my opinion) seduction.
    I remember my father telling me he learned to cook great breakfasts because women really enjoyed it. Not to look into charming words, being wined and dined, but take it for what it is.
    So no need to look into it deeply. He's just the kind of lover atip enjoys.

  12. #29
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by itsallgrand
    atip
    A tip!
    I hope this was a pun. lol

  13. #30
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    The phrase I don’t like here is “obviously trying to get in my pants the whole time” paired with “this summer he finally managed.” The tone there is so passive, as if this was something that happened to you or that you finally “gave up,” as the old saying goes.

    Another way of putting of putting it: you decided to have sex with a friend you’ve always suspected was attracted to, and you were also a bit attracted to, and it was nice. Fun! Two consenting adults doing their thing on an even playing field.

    What happens next is up to both of you. As others said, I think your head is a bit cloudy right now. Just out of a toxic thing, and so forth. A vulnerable time. A dude who lives far from you is maybe not the dude for a relationship or the dude that, with a less cloudy head, you’d be thinking about in these terms so quickly—or, well, maybe it is. You can explore that, in your own head as the bbq heats up, and you can express thoughts and feelings to him at the right time. Or not. Maybe you think about it all and you realize, actually, that you don’t care all that much to need those answers right now. Maybe you think about it all and realize that casual sex is not for you, at least right now, if the expectation is that is turns men into boyfriends, or men who act like aspiring boyfriends afterwards. Not all will.

    My gut says you kind of just want him to be really, really into you right now so you can decide if you’re really, really into him back. Or maybe just to enjoy that feeling on one burner while you work through your last breakup on another. Get it. Human. But still: kind of murky, and a lot of pressure to put on someone under the circumstances.

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