He lied to me... he's really bi-sexual

After 3 years together, I found my boyfriend on a national Bisexual site trolling for hookups. He bragged about his ability to give oral and bragged that he swallowed. I even paid a membership to see the pictures he posted... which were typical - penis, anal, etc. When I confronted him, he said he's engaged in sex with males all his life... as "fun." He has been married twice, has adult children, grandchildren and he said his love/emotional needs are with women... he enjoys sex with women but likes "penis." So we broke up... however, after 3 years there were feelings involved. We went back and forth and he continued to remain on the Bisexual Site. He says he is interested in a long term one on one male to have fun with. I was hurt, horrified and disgusted. He lied to me by not telling me this at the beginning of our relationship. At first I became afraid that I might have HIV/AIDS since bisexuals spread same to hetero wives/girlfriends. He then told me that he doesn't use protection which gave me a sick feeling in my stomach. Nothing is the same. At this point we do things together because we are really best friends but our sex life is horrible. I do not want to kiss his mouth or come hear his private areas... the visual of men with him makes me sick. Not sure what to do. Any sex we have is protected. Not sure at this point where our relationship will be going. I would appreciate all advice.

For the record:

The problem is NOT that he’s bisexual.

It’s that he is a serial cheater.

WHY do you continue to have sex with a cheater?!

Wait what?!

This guy lied to you for years, openly cheats on you, continues to sleep with other people, puts your health at risk and somehow you are still having sex with him?!

Whether the guy is bi or not is irrelevant. He is a grade-A scumbag who has absolutely zero respect for you.

You allow him take advantage of you because you must have zero self-esteem.

Leave him, move 1,000 miles away (metaphorically), work on yourself and try to understand why you allow yourself to be treated in this way.

Your self-esteem must be at an all time low. I'd address not only that, but why you're selling yourself short, while knowing he's putting your health at risk, etc.

Are you afraid of being alone?

Is that so. What were you doing on a "national bisexual site"?

You know what to do. Get to a doctor for a check up and dump this creep.

He then told me that he doesn't use protection which gave me a sick feeling in my stomach.

The guy lied and cheated on you. This is all you need to know. He is not your friend! It boggles my mind that you still deal with this creep! Are you afraid of being alone, is this why you stay together? This is sad.

STD's are not restricted to the bi and gay community. You should be using condoms! Get tested.

Block and delete this guy. Move onto to someone who is trustworthy.

Why did you go to a bi sexual site?

Would you be cool with this if it were women?

This is done, OP.

Not only has he been hiding a significant part of himself from you, he has been cheating and lying.

I don't see any way back from this. Sorry.

Yes he has cheated and lied to you repeatedly but what's worse is that he doesn't seem to actually feel bad about it. Doesn't sound like he's remorseful at all. And yeah he probably should have mentioned that he was bisexual coz it's his sexuality so it's a big part of him. Normally people tell their partner those things. He probably never told you because he wanted to continue cheating in secret. And he doesn't use protection when he hooks up, what??!! I really don't understand why you've forgiven him and gone back to him. He doesn't deserve you at all!

For the record:

 

The problem is NOT that he’s bisexual.

 

It’s that he is a serial cheater.

 

WHY do you continue to have sex with a cheater?!

You are exactly right... thank you.

For the record:

 

The problem is NOT that he’s bisexual.

 

It’s that he is a serial cheater.

 

WHY do you continue to have sex with a cheater?!

You are exactly right... thank you.

Of course being bisexual is relevant... because it should be told at the beginning of a relationship not 3 years later. I had no desire to be with a bisexual and never will... that is my choice. He entrap me into thinking he was hetero. That said...scumbag is gone.

4 three years I did not know he like sex with men. After I found out... he repulsed me . We were 5 years into a relationship. All sex was protected. That said, the scumbag is gone as of this week. Thanks for your reply.

Agreed, I believe he is a sociopath. We are now over. Thank you for your reply.

What I was doing was confirming that he was trolling for "penis". That was my right as his girlfriend of almost 4 years. I wanted to see his profile for myself and confront him. Up until that time I only suspected he was bisexual. I needed proof... and oh boy did I see his proof. He asked for forgiveness and promised to never troll for me again... that was a lie. So now the jerk is gone. Thanks for our reply.

Get tested now -- and then get tested in 6 months. Some diseases take time to show up. I am sorry that you had to deal with this horrible person. I am so glad you showed him the door.

Your self-esteem must be at an all time low. I'd address not only that, but why you're selling yourself short, while knowing he's putting your health at risk, etc.

 

Are you afraid of being alone?

I did not know he was bisexual for the first 3 years of the relationship... this is the issue at hand... his inability to have told the truth about his proclivities re: wanting penis. His inability to use protection might have put me at risk... HIV test was demanded and by the grace of God neither was contaminated with HIV virus. That said... he's gone.

Excellent. Take care of yourself and follow up medically.

... he's gone.

Why did you go to a bi sexual site?

 

Would you be cool with this if it were women?

Why not... after he said he wanted to have video/webcam with men jerking off. This was the very first indication I had that he had penis arousal with other men. Of course I'm going to investigate him on Bi sites... why not ? Point is male anal sex is still leading cause of HIV/AID exchange if not protected. You didn't know this ?