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Thread: Going travelling, What to do?

  1. #1
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    Going travelling, What to do?

    Hi all,

    I am going away travelling in 7 weeks time for 5 months or so and am unsure of what to do in my current situation. Ill give some background below..

    So i was seeing a girl for a few weeks in February, and she was booked to go away travelling in March.. So when she left we carried on talking, but then she wanted to be fully single etc so we cut ties with each other and both led our own lives when she was away. Anyway, she has now been home for 2 weeks in the same city as me and we have met up and dated a little bit. However, I am now booked to also travel in 7 weeks time and will be away for 5 months. She is also talking of wanting to travel again next March and also says she dreams of moving away to another city once she is home from her next trip. (I can not move due to my own business in the current city).

    A lot happened when she was away and she did start speaking to her Ex boyfriend again etc which still sits with me..

    So my question is, what do we do for the next 7 weeks or so? Should we make the most of our time when we are both home or should we cut ties now so it doesn't make it as difficult when i do leave in 7 weeks? It seems we are going in different directions all of the time and would save heartache when i go.. But are we reading in to it too much and planning too much in advance..?

    Thanks in advance..

  2. #2
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    It doesn't sound like your lifestyles are conducive to a meaningful relationship.

    I think you should enjoy the time that you can squeeze in together, but as far as thinking of the future, it's just going to cause problems if you think you can maintain a relationship. You'll be gone for 5 months. The chances are very high that you will meet someone on your travels.

    Don't make any long term plans.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Keyman's Avatar
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    Agree with Sarah.

    Stay friends, nothing more. If you start letting emotions get entangled, it is going to mess with you when you go travelling. You might start pining for her and this will reduce your experience wherever you are going.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    A lot happened when she was away and she did start speaking to her Ex boyfriend again etc which still sits with me..

    You're not exclusive so I don't know why this was brought up. Was she stirring up jealousy for an ego boost? Reading what you wrote, you seem to be into her more than she's into you. Telling you she wanted to be fully single while she traveled was telling you she wanted to be free to hook up with guys on one night stands. Do you really think a girl who saw you as someone she could potentially build something beautiful with would act like this?

    I wouldn't waste my time staying in contact with her. I'd just tell her what you said. That your lives are heading in two different directions and you don't want to get emotionally invested when it's her plan to move away. I wouldn't stay friends, because a new woman in your life will be asking questions about who this other woman is that you hang out with. You will drive away decent women who won't put up with a guy hanging out with a woman he wanted more from, if the situation had been right.

    Have fun traveling, free and single, just like she chose to be.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Just level with her. If you both want some casual dating for the next few weeks great.
    Originally Posted by Izac1789

    I am going away travelling in 7 weeks time for 5 months or so

    So my question is, what do we do for the next 7 weeks or so?

  7. #6
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    Thanks all for your replies, much appreciated.

    I have made it clear already that it is best to go our own ways once I do go away.

    I will see if she is happy casual dating and having fun before I go, and if so and it's not serious then fine. If she finds it too serious will be best to leave things be.

    Thanks

  8. #7
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I agree Izac with your post #6.

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    I have been speaking to her just now and explained the situation as i have done in the previous messages and it went as follows

    me: ' I think we shouldnt get too emotionally invested and if we are both cool with that then we can have fun when we can'.
    her: 'yep sounds fine to me. I am just worried if we are spending time together i may get emotionally invested.'
    me: ' i see, but we need to keep it chill'
    her: 'what does that even mean? i'm not doing something if there are rules etc'

    Then we continued to talk but more arguing talk about etc..

    I feel the best thing to do is to stop meeting after her reaction, it seems she is too in to it. Thoughts please?

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    She perceived this as a demotion to fwb and was offended. Let things cool off. If she wants to get together she'll contact you.
    Originally Posted by Izac1789
    me: ' I think we shouldnt get too emotionally invested and if we are both cool with that then we can have fun when we can'.
    her: 'yep sounds fine to me. I am just worried if we are spending time together i may get emotionally invested.'
    me: ' i see, but we need to keep it chill'
    her: 'what does that even mean? i'm not doing something if there are rules etc'

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    It's too much, OP. She's neither here nor there, talking to her ex and spending time with you, not sure if she'll be emotionally attached, easily offended/prone to misinterpretations...etc. The travel is one thing, her personality... something else. If she thinks she may become attached and you know she's not a catch, it might not be a good idea hanging out with her at all. I think the risk of things getting confusing between the both of you is a bit high. I wouldn't want that.

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