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Thread: Soon to be fiance wearing her ex's wedding band

  1. #41
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    She's a grown up and can make her own decisions. If she wants to sell it, let her. It's your job, though, to express how you feel. You shouldn't be walking on eggshells and planning to marry this person.

  2. #42
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Yeah so I was under the impression she was going to be ritualistically wearing this band opposite yours. Putting it on with select outfits is very simply her thinking it goes well with something. Getting her to sell it makes you the a**hole in a very big way.

  3. #43
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by j.man
    Yeah so I was under the impression she was going to be ritualistically wearing this band opposite yours. Putting it on with select outfits is very simply her thinking it goes well with something. Getting her to sell it makes you the a**hole in a very big way.
    Yep... and if you get married, she has the right to forever throw this in your face "You MADE me sell my ring..."

  4. #44
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    She's a grown up and can make her own decisions. If she wants to sell it, let her. It's your job, though, to express how you feel. You shouldn't be walking on eggshells and planning to marry this person.
    He said "she reluctantly agreed because he didn't feel comfortable". That's the wrong part. If he voiced his concern and she said "honey, if it bothers you, i won't wear it" or "honey, you know you are the only one for me. As I said, its just a ring to me." But for him to say "reluctant" makes me think he pressed. He could have been more lighthearted "hey, hon, so let's say you were to receive another wedding band someday. Would you still wear that ring?' And she said "heck no, i'd sell it" or "Its just a ring to me. I might remake it or save it for a child"

    I know i am hanging on that one word, but reluctant does not mean enthusiastic

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  6. #45
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    If you were patient, she would have proudly worn your engagement ring instead. But no, you didn't go ring shopping with her. You harped on a piece of old jewelry. Maybe she acquiesced to this but she probably thinks a lot less of you now.

  7. #46
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I understand what's being said. Thanks for clarifying.

    I also think there's a lot being read into one line and one word "reluctant". It's between the OP and his fiancee and I don't tend to think she's naive enough to blindly do as he says especially after what she's already been through with her ex. She's gone to therapy. She's done her homework. She's not a child and she shouldn't be treated as if they're both walking on eggshells. Part of being in a relationship is acknowledging differences in opinion and coming to an agreement, working on communication that works between the both of them. It shouldn't be one-sided. I tend to think these are the ways a couple grows together, not through silences or harboured resentments only to be revisited later on down the line.

    How the conversation came about, we don't know. What exact words were said in the entirety of that conversation is also an unknown. I'd rather give the OP the benefit of the doubt that the conversation was actually quite mild and it was a discussion between adults. If she doesn't want to sell the ring, I'm sure she's perfectly capable of shooting the idea down too. That's the brilliant part about it. It's her choice too just as it's his choice on whether he wants to be honest about his opinion or not. 50/50

  8. #47
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    His opinion came from a place of insecurity and his response was insecure. If he was secure and didn't like it, he would have bought her a ring and said "i have an idea. you know...do you really want to wear that ring? how about this one instead? (he pulls out a ring and proposes)" And i bet if she ultimately decides to change her mind and not sell the ring, he will take it as a rejection/overthink what it means and bail

  9. #48
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    That's really sweet actually. I see where you're going with this - sort of like showing her what she's been missing this whole time (a nice ring and all the love to go with it). I don't know what would happen if she decided not to sell it. OP, what are your thoughts?

  10. #49
    Platinum Member Realitynut's Avatar
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    why the heck can't she wear both rings?She's not wearing it on her ring finger on her left hand!!!!! I have just costume jewelry. This is the prettiestring I have ever owned. Just a band with 3 diamonds. Does NOT look like an engagement ring.....No way would I sell it just because my boyfriend was jealous of me wearing it! I love my ring. I don't love either of my ex's.....

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