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Thread: How to tell someone you're not interested in seeing them?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    I have had A LOT of experience in the past with guys who are attracted to me and I tell them I'm not and they just don't seem to understand and try to keep pursuing regardless of me literally telling them I'm not interested
    Another voice here for being clear in your communication and your actions... the above comment tells me that in most cases you are not.

    I had a conversation with my boyfriend about this the other day because we have a mutual friend that claims she is done with her boyfriend but keeps leaving hooks in... then she gets mad because he won't leave her alone... yet she has never actually said any version of "leave me alone" so of course he thinks he still has a chance.

    "I get the feeling you are want to be more than just friends, I like you but only as a friend" "I am sorry if my actions misled you"
    I like this... it's very clear, it's kind, and it leaves no room for interpretation.

    After you communicate this you need to put boundaries in place and be consistent so he gets the message. That means stop hanging out at his house, stop leaving hooks in, stop responding to his messages... if he asks if you want to hang out, just say no thank you. He will get it eventually.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Eliza50
    Just tell him this is a very busy time for you..and stop sending him mixed signals like accepting lunch dates.
    I like this. It avoids confrontation, which isn't a great thing to have early in a semester. Ignore any texts. If he asks again when you want to hang out, you've already laid the groundwork to say, "I don't think you heard me when I said it's a busy time for me. How about if we leave this alone?"

  3. #13
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    Hi guys,

    Thanks a lot for the messages I sent him a message today being more clear that I don't want to mislead him and told him it's best we don't hang out anymore. I'm a bit worried about how awkward it's going to be in class but I guess I'd rather deal with that than be leading on a guy and sending mixed signals when I'm not intending to..

    Thanks again!

  4. #14
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    If there is awkwardness it will be short lived at best, try to keep things in perspective, he was attempting to date you, this wasn’t a 25 year marriage that ended in divorce. If you’re in college the class will last another 4 months at most. In the grand scheme of things you did what was best.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LockerBunny
    Hi guys,

    Thanks a lot for the messages I sent him a message today being more clear that I don't want to mislead him and told him it's best we don't hang out anymore. I'm a bit worried about how awkward it's going to be in class but I guess I'd rather deal with that than be leading on a guy and sending mixed signals when I'm not intending to..

    Thanks again!
    You're welcome, LockerBunny.

    It will be awkward at first but just act natural. Remain civil and respectful just as you would treat any other classmate. Don't act self conscious. Just be peaceful and polite while you concentrate on the class and studying. You will be ok!

    He'll eventually get over it as will you.

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