Originally Posted by catfeeder
Or, maybe a better question is, "Why did he not see you?" That relationship was not your responsibility to maintain, it was his.
You're entitled to grow into neutrality on a man who never made an adult effort to be a father to his child. If you're not up for mustering some form of sentiment, then I'd lean into that and make your own private vow to fully embrace those people in your life who have been, 1) IN your life, and 2) loving and worthy of your love.
You're also free to form your own spiritual beliefs about what happens when people pass from their bodies. You could opt to decide that what this man didn't know of you during his lifetime, he knows now. You could decide that if you ever have anything to say to him, you can say it at that time within the privacy of your mind or your own private ritual.
While I can appreciate your desire to be supportive of your sibling(s), maybe frame this time as a question about what you would like to do for them rather than imposing some abstract 'should' on yourself.
Head high, and I'm sorry you lost your father for all of these years. My heart goes out to you.