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Thread: Is he cheating? Found AD Twitter

  1. #1

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    Is he cheating? Found AD Twitter

    I have been with my boyfriend for 3 months (known each other for 2 years). Things have been perfect between us; the conversation never stops, we constantly want to be around each other, and heís the sweetest most thoughtful guy ever....I get butterflies every time he touches or looks at me. Welp...Iím realizing there is no such thing as perfect.

    I discover that my BF has an after dark twitter account. He tweets about sex and and retweets porn links, thatís not what bothers me. The issue I have is that he post photos of his penis and videos of him masturbating and cumming. It gets worse....he converses with people under these posts about sexual things they would do. BOTH WOMEN AND MEN. I have no issues that he did this before we are together, however his posting has not stopped since with got together. I feel like this is low key cheating...cyber cheating.

    What do I do? How do I bring this up to him? I donít want this to be the demise of our relationship.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    I mean if you are truly honest with yourself - is what he is doing acceptable to you? If yes, then you say nothing and accept his behavior along with all the potential consequences of that. If not, you walk away while it's still only three months and easy to walk. There is no middle ground here.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    wellllllll, he's got a double life that's for sure. IMO he has an addiction. I'm sure it will escalate into something more in the future. It's one thing to view porn, but to participate in it is another. Obviously a relationship doesn't make him stop....that right there shows he's got a problem. And like any addict, he will not give this up. He will try and hide it, and keep doing it behind your back. You can't change this, so I suggest you dump and run.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    How did you happen upon this account? You need to get to a clinic and get tested for STDs and end it. Stop pretending you're the "cool gf" and putting up with anyone's extracurricular sexual adventures.

    It should be the demise of the relationship. What you stumbled upon is the tip of the iceberg. And it will not stop because you "talked to him". He will just hide it better. You're in denial and when you "talk to him", here's what he'll tell you: "it's nothing", "I was just curious", "I only look when I'm bored", "I'll shut it down", etc.. Of course none of that is true.
    Originally Posted by 199024
    I have been with my boyfriend for 3 months

    The issue I have is that he post photos of his penis and videos of him masturbating and cumming. It gets worse....he converses with people under these posts about sexual things they would do. BOTH WOMEN AND MEN.I donít want this to be the demise of our relationship.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Did you know about this account prior to dating him?

  7. #6
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    Agreed, how did you find this?

    I think thereís too much to change here. If you continue dating him youíll end up discovering so much more

  8. #7
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    I like DancingFool's take.

    In broad brushstrokes on this subject matter, I'd say we're living in a time where the majority of people are pretty fine with the idea of people masturbating to internet porn, with a small percentage not being okay with it and another, even smaller percentage being okay with habits and behaviors along the line of what you've discovered your boyfriend is into. There is probably a pretty large crossover in that camp with people who are also okay with their partners having sex with people who are not them.

    If you fall into that latter camp, proceed. If not, I'd pull out.

    Because take a moment to think about what even trying to bridge that divide looks like. Do you want to be in a relationship where this is something you two "work on" together? Do you want this to be something you "communicate well" about, and "grow closer" through that communication? Do you even want to be a woman who has to bring this up to a man? Or would the very act of going down that path mean stepping into a world you have no interest being part of, a woman you don't want to be, both in the world and inside a relationship?

    Part of dating is picking the people we want to seriously invest in, and part of making that investment is getting to ask which "issues" we're genuinely willing to engage with. The first three months are still very much the time when people are revealing themselves, so we get to assess what we see as more is revealed, to decide if we want to continue engaging. My girlfriend is a little headstrong, for instance, in ways I 98 percent admire and am attracted to. That two percent hasn't been an "issue" in 8 months, but I could see it coming up here and there if we go the distance I'd like to go, as I'm sure she's got some qualities of mine earmarked.

    But I'm game for that 2 percent being part of our 100 percent. Were she part of an after dark community that shared masturbation videosóno, I wouldn't be game for that. I wouldn't consider if cheating or cyber-cheating, for the record, because it wouldn't have anything to do with me. It would have predated me, because it would simply be part of who she is, something she was into that made it impossible for me to stay in it.

  9. #8
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    Everything bluecastle said; also, step back from yourself for a moment and honestly assess this as an outsider.

    If a friend came to you that she had fallen for a guy who was perfect in every way ... except that little thing where he keeps a secret twitter account where he and others masturbate and post videos of it while talking about the sex they would have together ... would you feel your friend may be having some honeymoon-period feelings where she doesn't want to admit something is very much bothering her and will as long as she's in the relationship and it isn't addressed properly?

    We all have our flaws, yes. Nobody is perfect I agree

    I talk during movies, feel tinges of jealousy I work to keep controlled, can be cocky and arrogant only to realize it later, tend to have trouble getting the initiative to try new things and it turns out that when I feel true attraction to someone I can ruin it by moving too fast.

    This guy is masturbating in a secret twitter account and posting videos of it for mutual pleasure with other people

    End of the day, you got to pick what you like about a person and what you dislike and weigh the two - because what you dislike won't go away, you either accept that person or move on.

    The above - personally - would be a deal breaker in a girlfriend because it is far too outside of my comfort zone of the activity I want in a partner ...


    And no, it won't stop. Sexual proclivity is hardwired - so you need to decide if when you picture the right person, does that person also spend his time masturbating on video to a group of other people and discuss sexual fantasies with them - let alone anything else you'll likely uncover.
    Last edited by RyanMI; 09-09-2019 at 01:01 PM.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by 199024
    What do I do? How do I bring this up to him? I donít want this to be the demise of our relationship.
    How could it not be, realistically?

    He has a whole other side to him you knew nothing about. I don't see how you could overlook that.

  11. #10
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    Dump him. Gross!

    He sounds weird and like he has issues.

    How could you even be in question about not getting rid of this creep!

    He is cheating. And, you should raise your standards.

    Get tested! I hope you used condoms!
    Last edited by Hollyj; 09-09-2019 at 02:47 PM.

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