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Thread: He is staring at other women

  1. #1

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    He is staring at other women

    This might be a stupid problem but my boyfriend of 6 months keeps staring at other women and I have a problem with that. I have no insecurities and I like myself but I never had a guy do this to this extend; where he stops talking and can't concentrate... I feel this is how he is and I don't plan on yelling at him and trying to change this man in his 40s. My plan is not to see him few days, then hang out Saturday where there's people around. If after few days of not seeing me he is still focusing on other women, dump him. I really don't like telling people what to do I rather just break up. Is there any way to fix this without me lecturing a grown man on what's rude behaviour?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    This is an excellent mindset. No you won't fix or change him so cut your losses if you feel he's rude/disrespectful. Do not stick around seething, it's bad for your health.
    Originally Posted by Bekigirl
    I really don't like telling people what to do I rather just break up.

  3. #3
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    . Is there any way to fix this without me lecturing a grown man on what's rude behaviour?
    Nope ....you've got this Beki

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Was it always like this for the past six months? Or did you have rose-coloured lenses and weren't ready to acknowledge it in the past few months? That's still a long while to tolerate someone with that kind of behaviour if you've found it so repulsive. I wouldn't lecture but if he asks why you don't feel the same way or why things fizzled out, you can just mention that your in-person chemistry didn't feel right after awhile and wish him all the best.

    At 40 it's unlikely he hasn't already been told or hasn't had other people (friends or dates) mention that to him. He may even have some kind of short attention span or a disorder of some sort. Maybe he really is rude and has no manners. I understand you're annoyed. I'd let go of all that negative stuff and focus on you. If it's not working, make a clean break and move on with your life.

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  6. #5
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    The guy is rude, everyone sees and notices people that they find attractive that is not a problem whether in a relatioship or not but for him to be so blatant and rude about is. I would agree with the others, he's probably not going to change so i would walk away.

  7. #6
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    I agree.

    I might be tempted to tell him once how incredibly rude, disrespectful and creepy heís being - just to get it off my chest - lol! But I agree. If he is doing this, he is simply a crass person and you canít reach an adult manners.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by RedDress
    I might be tempted to tell him once how incredibly rude, disrespectful and creepy heís being - just to get it off my chest - lol!
    I'd have to say something too, similar to what RedDress mentions above. I'd make a quick quip, just so they know I'm not oblivious, and then I'd cut him loose and walk.

    It's obviously completely normal to notice other attractive people while in a relationship, but the fact that this guy stops mid-sentence to gawk in front of you is ridiculous and disrespectful.

    If you call him out, he might not think there's anything wrong with it, but keep in mind that if he does just shrug it off and tell you "it's no big deal", this is a clear indicator that you two just aren't a match.

  9. #8
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    I agree with the others -totally fine to scan a room, notice people, etc - I love to people watch. Totally tactless and rude to stare at other women (or for anyone to do that to their partner, whatever gender, etc) as a reaction to finding someone attractive.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by milly007
    I'd make a quick quip, just so they know I'm not oblivious, and then I'd cut him loose and walk.
    There's two ways to look at it. Seeing you don't plan on sticking around anyway, why bother teaching how to be a better partner for the next person?

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    There's two ways to look at it. Seeing you don't plan on sticking around anyway, why bother teaching how to be a better partner for the next person?
    I agree and I don't think a person like that would listen to a girlfriend telling him that, anyway.

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