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Thread: Shock from being ghosted

  1. #11
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    I think it is terrible that she blocked you. Cowardly and disrespectful. Why would you want someone like that!

    Do not contact anyone she knows and do not try to reach out to her.

    I think that she was already having doubts when the mood shifted. When you had the open convo and said you should bring it to a clise, was her excuse to end things.

    You do not need people like this in your life. You only saw her over a period of a month (in person). That's a blip. Move on from this girl!

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by TheG
    I am 26 shes 22. She would have to make the trip alone, over a very long distance. The brother does not know me too well. basically safety concern which i do respect and understand...

    Also is it not acceptable for me to seek answers ?
    She blocked you, that is your answer!

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by TheG
    I hear you but is it really a waste of time to find out? I think its an opportunity to learn something new a new lesson e.g. if she says shes found someone else the next time this happens to me or someone else Ill have a bit more information about such a scenario than if i dont try and find out. Thats my thinking...?
    i think you should reassess the type of women you are dating. Are they still discussing their exs and saying they have trust issues? How old are they?

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. It sounds like they are "on" again. Do not contact her or her people or via spoof number. It was a bit too much, too soon and too deep, too fast, but it most likely has to do with your being away providing a window of opportunity to be "on" again with her bf.

    The "adamant" part means she is still quite attached and convincing herself that This time, she really moved on.
    Originally Posted by TheG
    she has been in a really hurtful on/off relation ship for about 2 years.The guy would call her or try and see her.

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  6. #15
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    Extremely disappointing. Its so ironic how everyone would always tell me not to mess things up with her when I introduced them to her

    Thanks again for this advice. It definitely does help the healing process; knowing that you lost someone with a gap in their character rather than losing someone amazing... thanks for listening too

  7. #16
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    She blocked you, that is your answer!
    This is what I was going to say... when someone blocks you they are telling you they don't want you to contact them. Going around this by creating another account, using a different phone, or contacting them through a friend does not respect their boundaries.

    I am not saying she did the right thing by blocking and ghosting you without explanation... I think that short of $hit is abhorrent and cowardly... you don't need to sink to her level though, instead rise above and walk away with your head up.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Towards the end of the convo I was like anyway lets change the topic (as it was getting serious) and she agree. I asked her what she would like to talk about and shes like: "nothing, good night"
    Wait. You lead her into an emotional convo, and as it was getting serious, you said, "anyway, let's change the topic?"

    That's a pretty harsh and jolting thing to say once you have someone opened up.

    You may have embarrassed or insulted her with that, and, "Nothing, good night," was her shut down.

    Sounds like you really p'd her off.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Not nice. Chalk it up to experience and date someone a few years older. 22 years old is either a fresh graduate or someone just learning to spread her wings. You might want to check the type of women you're interested in. If you're looking to be more of a guardian or father/older brother type of role or want someone to protect or "guide", you'll run into a lot of issues and competition with family or existing role models. This person sounds hardly grown.

    I think it's a good idea to move forwards and don't let this be a chip over your shoulder. Look for more mature women who know what they're doing. The only reason that ghosting usually occurs is when there are real perceived threats (you are coming across as heavyhanded in your approaches or creepy) or someone doesn't have enough social skills to handle a situation. I think in her case it might be both and the added issue of meddling family members (older brothers) and her youth.

  10. #19
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    That is my concern. I wonder if I pissed her off...

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    Wait. You lead her into an emotional convo, and as it was getting serious, you said, "anyway, let's change the topic?"

    That's a pretty harsh and jolting thing to say once you have someone opened up.

    You may have embarrassed or insulted her with that, and, "Nothing, good night," was her shut down.

    Sounds like you really p'd her off.
    I was actually thinking literally the same thing. I think the fact that she blocked you was really petty and immature and she owes you a conversation. However, I can kind of see from her perspective that to be honest you were starting not to look like the best boyfriend prospect. I just imagined that if I dated someone for only two months and straight away that person went away for a month, then again went away for three weeks, it just starts being too much hard work.

    At the start of dating you're still getting to know each other and it's very new. So to have that person keep going away and for significant amounts of time (many weeks) is not exactly appealing. I understand it wasn't your fault but sometimes it's nobody's fault and it's just bad timing and not meant to be.

    Also obviously due to not seeing you much in person, the girl was worried about whether you could get close, so she was discussing being vulnerable with your partner and so on. You just shut her down and were like: "Anyway, let's change the subject". Because it was getting serious? Sorry but what did you want to talk about, purely generic and on the surface topics? The minute it got serious you bluntly say to change the subject? I don't understand how you expected to have a relationship when you keep going away and you also just seem to want a shallow interaction.

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