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Thread: I'm so confused with the ghosting

  1. #11
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    He's a coward. Best to find out this way than another.

    He's not interested; it isn't because you don't have anything to offer and it isn't because you're anything less than someone else's favorite person someday - it just isn't this guy and for himself, he's not a brave person - so much so that he can't even have a proper discussion with you, someone he literally knows and presumably is comfortable enough speaking to.

    MissCanuck and Cherylyn are right, but while it's anyone's guess to why he's decided to do this to you and it's infuriating, but not everyone will treat you with this kind of utter-disrespect and no matter the reason, he's a lost cause for not having a proper breakup with you.

    I know it's hard because you saw him as something else, but you're way better off in the long-run dating someone who shows you the decency to break up in person if that comes than a child scared of even that type of confrontation.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by maew
    I agree with this... in the past I have tried to push past in situations when someone was doing a slow fade or ghosting me, thinking oh it's all good they are just busy, I am busy too... until I realized how devaluing this was for my confidence and self-esteem. Never again, I don't have time for that cowardly BS.
    Yup.

    I've been imperfect in a zillion ways, some of them supremely lousy though things I know I'd be open to attempting to deal with, in certain scenarios, if I was on the receiving end. But not ghosting, not snooping. I'd never do these things and, in a vacuum, have no interest in the psychology behind it. It's a display of human weakness and cowardice I don't have much empathy for, so to even try to engage with it would be to lose empathy for myself. If that's the cost of connection or closure, I'll pass.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    Do you happen to know much about his dating or relationship history?
    I donít think heís had a steady relationship but I think maybe like 2 years ago, he had a FWB situation but it wasnít officially given that title. There was miscommunication in which the girl thought they were together but he didnít think so, leading to her being angry when he said he wanted to remain friends. I think she cut him off completely.

  4. #14
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    I apologize if I'm off base, but have you met in person? Unless I missed it, I haven't seen any signs of physically meeting in your thread.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by HeartGoesOn
    I apologize if I'm off base, but have you met in person? Unless I missed it, I haven't seen any signs of physically meeting in your thread.
    She wrote this in her OP:
    "He'd take me out to try and distract me from the pain and I always felt quite relaxed being with him."

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by HeartGoesOn
    I apologize if I'm off base, but have you met in person? Unless I missed it, I haven't seen any signs of physically meeting in your thread.
    Yeah weíve met in person and we used to see each other one to two times per week.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by RyanMI
    He's a coward. Best to find out this way than another.

    He's not interested; it isn't because you don't have anything to offer and it isn't because you're anything less than someone else's favorite person someday - it just isn't this guy and for himself, he's not a brave person - so much so that he can't even have a proper discussion with you, someone he literally knows and presumably is comfortable enough speaking to.

    MissCanuck and Cherylyn are right, but while it's anyone's guess to why he's decided to do this to you and it's infuriating, but not everyone will treat you with this kind of utter-disrespect and no matter the reason, he's a lost cause for not having a proper breakup with you.

    I know it's hard because you saw him as something else, but you're way better off in the long-run dating someone who shows you the decency to break up in person if that comes than a child scared of even that type of confrontation.
    Thanks for your insight and support. It definitely makes me sad when I think about the memories, and Iím not gonna lie, Iím ready to chuck a slipper at his direction but even the slipper might be worth more so..

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. It sounds lie like got too busy for both of you and he lost interest. All you can do is see if he stays in touch in the future, if you're still interested by then. In the mean time. make sure you are ready willing and able to date, mentally, physically and emotionally. If you don't have the time to date, then focus on your health and studies instead.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by showbizzness
    Thanks for the advice and compassion :) I wish he could just tell me and be clear about so that I'm not left waiting for a potential response.
    His ghosting and non-response to you is your answer. This is his message to you. His message to you is this: "GET LOST. I DON'T WANT YOU." He's rejecting you. Return the favor, ignore him and do the same. Be done with him. He's not worth your attention and energy. You need to move on with your life.

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