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Thread: Best Way to Approach a girl at College?

  1. #1
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    Best Way to Approach a girl at College?

    Basic question here. I got to a fairly small community college and I was wondering what's the best way to approach a girl. There's a couple girls in some of my classes, but also would like to know how to just approach anyone I might see around. I was always under the impression that just going up to someone, introducing yourself and being direct about your intentions (ex: telling them you think they're cute or anything like that) was a good way to approach someone, but I'd like to get some other opinions. Thanks!

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Don't "approach". It's creepy. Simply smile, say hi, start some small talk about classes, college, the campus, whatever. After developing some rapport that way, then you ease into asking them to go for coffee or something. Never walk straight up to someone and ask them out. It is exceptionally creepy to walk up to them and say you're cute, etc.
    Originally Posted by E98
    BThere's a couple girls in some of my classes, but also would like to know how to just approach anyone I might see around. I was always under the impression that just going up to someone, introducing yourself and being direct about your intentions (ex: telling them you think they're cute or anything like that) was a good way to approach someone

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    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I agree with Wiseman2. Get acquainted with the girl and GRADUALLY become her friend. Don't pursue her immediately otherwise you'll scare her off! LATER, be casual, meet for a snack break and keep the friendship easy and non-threatening. Don't come on too strong. Just be a nice guy and never have any expectations. Make her feel at ease and build TRUST over a very long time. Don't rush.

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    Don't be that direct. Do smile & say hi. If the girl is in a class, ask if you can borrow notes or to study together before a test. Give yourself a few interactions like that before you ask for the date

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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    I agree with Wiseman2. Get acquainted with the girl and GRADUALLY become her friend. Don't pursue her immediately otherwise you'll scare her off! LATER, be casual, meet for a snack break and keep the friendship easy and non-threatening. Don't come on too strong. Just be a nice guy and never have any expectations. Make her feel at ease and build TRUST over a very long time. Don't rush.
    What about someone I see maybe at the library or someone who’s not in my class?

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    Bronze Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    Find someone you know who also knows her, have them introduce you. When you meet her, take her by the hand and kiss her on the back of the hand, making sure to leave your gum stuck to her hand. Then say "Oh dear!!! I'm so embarrassed!"... believe it or not it worked for me :-)

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    Originally Posted by TeeDee
    Don't be that direct. Do smile & say hi. If the girl is in a class, ask if you can borrow notes or to study together before a test. Give yourself a few interactions like that before you ask for the date
    What about someone whos not in my class? Like a girl in the library or sitting outside or something?

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    Say hi. Rely on the clichés: nice day or what's your major. It's just about getting the person to keep talking to you.

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    Originally Posted by E98
    What about someone whos not in my class? Like a girl in the library or sitting outside or something?
    i'm female so i can only tell you how guys have approached me (when i was single) in college.

    1. i took a debate class and when it was my turn to give an opinion the guy who liked me immediately followed up with supporting my opinion and continued to with other debaters in the class. i thought it was really sweet and after class he talked to me about how he thought my stance was agreeable to his and asked me out for lunch to "talk" more about class. we both knew it was going to be getting to know each other though, and not so much about class.

    2. waiting for english class to start, i had a guy ask me if i "did the reading" and then it grew into a discussion of how awful the class was and he asked what i was doing after class.

    3. i used to sit in the library and study sometimes, there was a guy once who decided to sit in my area and came up to me asking if he could borrow a pen because he lost his. i actually didn't have one, so then he laughed and said "guess i need to get us both a pen now" and smiled. he actually came back from the bookstore with a box of new pens and gave me one. then he said he was sorry for bothering me and asked what i was studying for and the conversation just grew from there.

    i've never had a guy randomly come up to me and ask me out. but if a guy were to do that, like the others said there needs to be a conversation starter. i wouldn't be alarmed if a guy came up to me and asked me for directions on campus or to a popular food joint off campus. in fact, the food joint could start a conversation and eventually lead to, "thanks for your help, i hope to see you around again" and when you do see her again you can smile and wave and ask how her week is going, etc. then just build from there.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by Purdy
    i'm female so i can only tell you how guys have approached me (when i was single) in college.

    1. i took a debate class and when it was my turn to give an opinion the guy who liked me immediately followed up with supporting my opinion and continued to with other debaters in the class. i thought it was really sweet and after class he talked to me about how he thought my stance was agreeable to his and asked me out for lunch to "talk" more about class. we both knew it was going to be getting to know each other though, and not so much about class.

    2. waiting for english class to start, i had a guy ask me if i "did the reading" and then it grew into a discussion of how awful the class was and he asked what i was doing after class.

    3. i used to sit in the library and study sometimes, there was a guy once who decided to sit in my area and came up to me asking if he could borrow a pen because he lost his. i actually didn't have one, so then he laughed and said "guess i need to get us both a pen now" and smiled. he actually came back from the bookstore with a box of new pens and gave me one. then he said he was sorry for bothering me and asked what i was studying for and the conversation just grew from there.

    i've never had a guy randomly come up to me and ask me out. but if a guy were to do that, like the others said there needs to be a conversation starter. i wouldn't be alarmed if a guy came up to me and asked me for directions on campus or to a popular food joint off campus. in fact, the food joint could start a conversation and eventually lead to, "thanks for your help, i hope to see you around again" and when you do see her again you can smile and wave and ask how her week is going, etc. then just build from there.
    thank you!! exactly the advice i was looking for!!

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