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Thread: Got back with abusive partner because he had changed now I want out again

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Sep 2019
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    1

    Got back with abusive partner because he had changed now I want out again

    Hey all I am looking for some advice and fast I was with my ex partner for 10 years we have a 9 year old son during our relationship he has been physically and mentally abusive to me Throughout the whole time have been punched strangled kicked some of this during my pregnancy resulting me being rushed into hospital after he pushed me that caused bleeding the social services had been made aware and he was only allowed to see our son at a contact centre after one year he was allowed to see him during our whole relationship he would hit me and and abuse me on a daily basis and take all my money out me down call me names and hit me there has been many many other physical incidents. On top of this he had a cocaine and alcohol addiction that made the physical and mental abuse worse I have had 5 abortions with this person due to the stress I have been unable to keep the children this has caused me extreme emotional problems he also has another son who he has not been able to see as his previous partner had a restraining order against him for all the same things that I have previously mentioned. when I first met him I was 17 and he was 32 I am now 28 years old recently about 6 months ago his drinking and Cocaine abuse had got worse I had found packets of cosine in his pockets that he left on my sons bedroom floor and his drinking was getting out of control after dealing with being physically and mentally abused for the last ten years I had enough and tried to break up with him he would not listen and tried to shift on the blame onto me making up excuses why he drinks and takes drug and also why he used to hit me it all got so much to escape I started seeing another man that he knew of we had been seeing each other for a couple of months and things got serious so I decided to tell him he went mad and once again was swearing and calling me names this went on for some time he then started a group called nine lives and got off all the drugs and drinks during this period he was begging and pleading with me to get back with him so I did however I am still seeing the other man I thought I would get back with him and give it a go and see if he has changed he is no longer drinking for taking drugs and has been clean for almost 9 months but there is no love thrrr anymore I have tried to explain this to him multiple times but he has said I will learn to love him again meanwhile I am still seeing this other man that I really like while he is living in my house I am really in a sticky situation what do I do I feel like I have made a big mistake and have been sucked back in please leave your comments and advice thank you

  2. #2
    Bronze Member
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    Start going to Al-Anon & Narc-Anon meetings. These are groups for people who love addicts. They will help you make a clean break. You have to get out before this monster hurts or kills your child. Letting your son see the abuse his father inflicts will teach your kid that this is normal & how you treat a SO. Do you really want to turn your precious child in to a mini-me monster like his dad?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Apr 2016
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    You need to do the same thing. Get to a doctor for STD testing and reliable birth control. Go back to social services for help with food, housing, health care, employment assistance, etc. Stop using drugs. They will take your child away if you don't get your act together and stop being around drugs and abuse.
    Originally Posted by Selina28
    his previous partner had a restraining order against him

  4. #4
    Platinum Member
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    I made a promise to myself. Any guy who hits me/chokes me would be gone. No second chances no matter how much they try to say they would change.
    Go to an attorney to establish your rights to your child, then get a restraining order and cut off all contact.
    AND stop being a two-timer. You are seeing him behind the back of the man you are dating.

    Get away before you die

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member
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    Jan 2015
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    What do you think you're teaching your child about relationships?

    Your child has been exposed to a war zone.

    Please get counseling for yourself and your child. And stay away from men and relationships until you get mentally healthy.


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