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Thread: I just need to know if this is right

  1. #1

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    I just need to know if this is right

    Me and my bf broke up because our parents said we are too young, they actually overreacted cause they thought we were having sex but we werenít. They told us that we should wait till we are old enough. So basically, me and my ex now still talk like we are a couple, we still have arguments and all, still say I love you and all but also we want to focus on our school work and all. Itís like we are both single but still being loyal to each other. Honestly nothing really changed after the breakup unless is the fact that we donít call each bf/gf but we still call each other babe and all. What do you all think?

  2. #2

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    Also, their were times, I kinda did try to push him away because of my insecurities which over it now but he still stayed and he was like he is holding on to what we have till we are older. What do you all think ?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    How old are you both and how our were you together prior to the parental intervention? Would help to know, given the ďtoo youngĒ declaration of the parents.

  4. #4

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    We are not together but it still seems like we are. Iím 16 abt to be 17 n he is 18

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Well, it's tough. I don't know your backgrounds, and can only speak from my own. I'm sure, on one level, that both your parents have you best interests at heart, so do take a moment to remember that they're doing their best, loving you, all that. But on another it strikes me as a bit controlling for parents to "force" people your age to break up, regardless of whether or not you're having sex. Is it that he's 18 and that youóthis depends on the stateóare not of the age of consent? Was their issue purely about you guys being sexually attractive, or did it have to do with anything else?

    Anyhow, at the end of the day labels are both meaningful and, well, just labels. You both like each other, get to express that. Can that be enough for a minute?

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Didn't you already post about this.. [Register to see the link]

    My advice is: Don't disobey your parents. This is obviously bothering you quite a bit so stop doing it. See each other at school, stay friendly if you like and meet up as friends with other friends around. What other people think shouldn't matter when you've already been told you're not to see this person and both of you have agreed to it. Try not to get into unnecessary drama or disagreements with boys or girls. Stay on top of your school work, enjoy going out with friends, take up a few hobbies and join a few clubs at school.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    When you posted this last time under whatever user name, the advice is the same. Keep it low key, just date in groups and keep it clean, keep your grades up etc.. Your parents don't want you to laser focus on sex and boys and forget about school or get pregnant..

  9. #8
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    This story sounds familiar.

    You both need to honor your parents' wishes. You can't lie to them or yourselves. If you are broken up you shouldn't be acting like a couple behind their backs & sneaking around.

    A better plan would be for both of you to talk to each of your parents & find out what your parents' expectations are. Then you need to show your parents that you are mature enough to handle dating but you are not trying to have sex. You just want the other person in your life. Explain how school won't suffer. Ask if you can have study dates at each other's kitchen tables etc. Basically prove to your parents that you can balance school & a relationship maturely.

  10. #9

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    We are not a couple. We are not together. We are actually best friends and we are waiting just like our parents said. The whole couple thing, itís just comes out naturally nothing more

  11. #10
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    They are concerned because they see other young couples do things that impact the rest of their lives.

    My cousin's 14 year old daughter and her boyfriend disappeared one day. My cousin spent almost a week frantically searching three states looking for her. Fortunately a friend of my cousin's spotted the daughter in a neighboring town and told my cousin. The kids came home the next day.

    Why did they run? Because the 14 year old girl was pregnant and they were afraid of what their parents would do. They are now 15 year old parents struggling to finish school and care for an infant. My cousin and the boy's parents are having to financially support an infant when they thought they were just about done raising children.

    I'm sure your parents see stories like that all the time. Teens don't understand the absolute fear that parents deal with regarding their children. We all want the best for our kids.


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