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Thread: Victim pending

  1. #1
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    Victim pending

    I recently got out of an emotionally abusive relationship and was moving on nicely until a month later a saw that my ex was in a relationship on facebook. I suddenly felt obligated to warn her. He blocked me on facebook shortly after (probably to keep me quiet), and I blocked his number. I feel that I should message his girlfriend and warn her of the abuse I experienced and to look for signs. Should I go forward with the message or leave it be?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member indea08's Avatar
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    Leave it be. Sheís not likely to believe you and walk away anyways, sheíll want to form her own opinion. Youíll just make yourself look like the crazy ex, which is exactly how your ex bf will paint you.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Not if 'ignoring you and paying cards' was what you consider abuse. Sounds like you want to smear him, not "warn" her. Just recently you "liked him a lot".
    Originally Posted by ArielPalermo
    I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and like him a lot. He has a personality that causes him to be very "chill" as he calls it. I see him once a week and find myself missing him a lot of the times. He can be so neglectful when I communicate what I want to improve between us; especially when it comes to him ignoring my calls and texts. Even on the weekend when he's just playing games and going out with friends. He says I'm too persistent with my calls and texts. I feel like I wouldn't be as persistent if he just acknowledged my efforts to communicate with him a bit more, and improved his communication in what he needs and wants. I don't know what would be the best way to accomplish this; be direct, or back way off and let him decide if I'm worth the trouble?

  4. #4
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    not even if it's put in this manner?

    "I feel obligated to warn you about the path your current relationship may go down based on my experiences. I personally experienced much abuse during the relationship and feel that you need to look for warning signs. Do research and donít let yourself be victimized. Naturally I was very nervous sending this message to you and donít know if Iím in the wrong by doing so or not; I do not wish any malicious intentions towards you, your partner, or your relationship. I wish you the best in your romantic endeavors."

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  6. #5
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    I was in love with him. He was very controlling and displayed every sign in an abusive relationship. The forum helped me realize I needed to exit the relationship. Please understand I am the victim and don't intend to ruin his reputation

  7. #6
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    If you look at signs of an abusive relationship one of them is discluding their partners from social activities and withholding communication. Please be aware of the signs of abuse before you claim his tendencies were justified.

  8. #7
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    Why were you looking at his Facebook? If he's abusive why keep track of what he's doing?

  9. #8
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    when did I say I was looking at his facebook? I saw on my timeline that he was in a relationship and that's how I found out. He blocked me shortly after

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by ArielPalermo
    when did I say I was looking at his facebook? I saw on my timeline that he was in a relationship and that's how I found out. He blocked me shortly after
    Why would you remain Facebook friends with the man who abused you?

  11. #10
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    I have just now accepted that it was an abusive relationship. It's difficult to accept, especially when you're in love with someone.

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