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Thread: Victim pending

  1. #21
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Dont do it, you will look like a first class $hit disturber and she wont believe you anyway. Mind your business.

  2. #22
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    NO! Focus on why you stayed in that relationship. Work on YOU!

    Why are YOU stalking him if he was so awful?

  3. #23
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    If you look at signs of an abusive relationship one of them is discluding their partners from social activities and withholding communication. Please be aware of the signs of abuse before you claim his tendencies were justified.
    Or you know, the guy got overwhelmed by your neediness, or perhaps he just was not that into you. I'm not sure how somebody who found you too needy and suffocating could be "abusive" and "controlling". You cannot be controlling of somebody if you do not even want to communicate with them. If anything it seems that you were controlling of him, demanding more time with him, demanding to be included in his social life etc...

    If he did not physically hurt, call you abusive names and merely pulled back from your relationship, then it is really quite offensive to just start screaming abuse and identifying as a victim, when there are real victims of domestic abuse out there.

    I'm sorry OP but I genuinely and earnestly recommend that you look into therapy and try to understand why you feel the way that you feel.

    Please understand I am the victim and don't intend to ruin his reputation
    Just claiming that victim tag does not make you one. And it is not healthy to want to be defined as a victim if you were not. And what you are doing is the definition of trying to ruin his reputation.

  4. #24
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    No. Stay out of it.

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  6. #25
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    Leave them alone and stop the self-victimisation
    Last edited by ninjabib; 09-07-2019 at 06:15 AM.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok. That's a stretch. He may have been immature or blew off your texts or spent time with his friends sometimes rather than you, but that just makes him a jerk. You broke up, you're rid of him, let it rest.

    Keep in mind, she'll show it to him and all her people and they'll shake their heads and say "no wonder he broke up with her, what a psycho" and have a good laugh at your expense.

    In fact, contacting her is abusive on your part. He's leaving you alone, you're the one stalking.
    Originally Posted by ArielPalermo
    If you look at signs of an abusive relationship one of them is discluding their partners from social activities and withholding communication.

  8. #27
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    I think the timing is interesting. You only decided he was "abusive" after you found out he's dating someone else. Up to that point you were fine with staying Facebook friends with him, but the new girlfriend shows up and bingo! He's abusive! And HE blocked YOU, not the other way around.

    I think you're upset, maybe a bit jealous, feel discarded and replaced, etc. But that doesn't make him an abuser.

    One of my friends is doing something similar. Her husband had one affair after another. She finally divorced him after putting up with his cheating for years. After the divorce she decided he was "abusive" and is posting memes about being a strong survivor of abuse. I think it trivializes actual abuse victims, but it seems to get her through the night to view herself as a victim of her abusing husband.

    Please be honest with yourself about your motivations for wanting to contact the new girlfriend.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ArielPalermo
    not even if it's put in this manner?

    "I feel obligated to warn you about the path your current relationship may go down based on my experiences. I personally experienced much abuse during the relationship and feel that you need to look for warning signs. Do research and donít let yourself be victimized. Naturally I was very nervous sending this message to you and donít know if Iím in the wrong by doing so or not; I do not wish any malicious intentions towards you, your partner, or your relationship. I wish you the best in your romantic endeavors."
    Mind your own business. Its not your job to intrude on any one else's relationship. If he is abusive, she will soon enough find out and hopefully she is confident and with enough self esteem to kick his azz to the curb if he is that way with her.

    Get on with your life and get him out of yours in all ways (including worrying about who he is dating now).

  10. #29
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    Unless he was a bigamist with two secret families in different cities and she announced her engagement to him or he broke your jaw, I would not do that.

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