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Thread: He took me to a SEX HOTEL on a second date =/ Was I in Danger? Please Help!!

  1. #11
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    btw, you want to expand what "type" you like. you explained as him being your "type" because he chose an Expensive restaurant and worked at a top engineering company. Why not look for a man who is sincere, has a pleasant sense of humor, common goals (online dating profiles will tell you who is looking for eventual marriage).... obviously one that can afford to pay his rent,...a lot of sincere men even if they are loaded will take someone out to a modest place the first date just to make sure they are not all about the money

  2. #12
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    Hahaha, this dude's a charmer, for sure.

    NO - you didn't do anything wrong. In fact, call it a life lesson and thankfully it didn't end worse than that.

    This guy is another level of spooky and weird - rattle snakes have rattles, this guy has "take the woman to a sex motel and try to make her get into a room" .. nature's way of saying "stay away".

    Seriously, don't over think this one. He's horrifying at the least and could be dangerous.

    " I didn't do anything bad... if i did something bad, why don't i feel bad about it?? ..." said the serial killer to the judge before being sentenced to life...

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry this happened. What a weirdo. Make sure you delete and block him.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    He was a creep but did stop when you enforced your boundaries. On the other hand, it sounds like you seek men with money and high prestige much as he was looking to cash in his prestige with sex. It sounds like his high prestige and money blinded you to the creep vibes he was probably emitting from date no 1. If you have superficial standards such as high prestige and lots of money you risk attracting people with equally superficial tastes...

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  6. #15
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    You're not wrong for feeling like you do, and certainly if you found yourself in an isolated hotel room, things could have escalated, so yeah, danger warnings galore. I too, feel like you mostly did not do anything wrong. I do agree with the above poster that on a second date or with someone you barely know, you should not agree to go someplace without knowing where that someplace is. For myself, we don't have good public transportation here, and in some cases, no public transportation at all, and most of us drive. I would not get in the car with him for this "surprise," but rather drive myself and meet him there...so that I'm not stranded...location please. Even if I agreed to go to his house or apartment, give me your address, and I will drive myself. The whole situation was bad, and while I can't say you were truly in danger and this guy would have forced anything, he is definitely a creep and a jerk, and the potential was certainly there.

  7. #16
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    He keeps saying... " I didn't do anything bad... if i did something bad, why don't i feel bad about it?? ..."you are no better than a prostitute/hooker, you have no right to judge them" Then he asks me "Do you think prostitutes are bad?"
    Ugh, what a creeper. I am so glad you got out of there.

  8. #17
    Bronze Member MirrorKnight's Avatar
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    I think the guy was a sleazy douche, he was probably hoping that once he had you in the hotel room, some kissing and messing around would naturally escalate. You did the right thing by getting out of there.

    But since he accepted your "no" and did not spike your drink or anything, it is a stretch to call him a predator. You do not have enough evidence to make that judgement call.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    These were the real red flags. The 'lets adjourn to a motel' thing was the icing on the cake. Don't date players and married guys who feed you these lines. Anyone who takes you to a motel can't take you home...think about that.

    In fact better yet, keep your dates public for at least the first several dates and run when you hear these kind of crazy future talk lines on a second date. The 'visions of marriage' talk would have most people ending the date but the "let's go kiss somewhere' line should have made you shut it down asap.

    Do not be this dazzled by flash, money or lines. You'll get hurt one day..
    Originally Posted by sweetheartc314
    Second date, We then go on to discussing our "Visions of what marriage should be" -- His question, not mine. I simply say, i hope it is a partnership, balanced, and loving and commiting. He then goes on to say, He is looking for the mother of his children... etc. Okay, cool. whatever, I'm just like great!

  10. #19
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    Holy guacamole!!! I've had many guys say stuff like: "Can we go to my/your place?" Can we go to my car? And so on, but without my consent I must say that nobody had ever just dragged me to a sex hotel! Also are you sure he really had that prestigious job? Maybe he was lying? I mean really you had no way to check anything about him! I think you'd done nothing wrong at all and good on you for having strong boundaries. But the first time he was saying "you should go somewhere to be alone" was probably a sign that you shouldn't have seen him again.

    And everything he said to you "You are no better than prostitutes", what??!! It's no disrespect to people in the sex industry but you said a number of times you were looking for a relationship so to take you to that sex hotel and make those comments to you is just EXTREMELY disrespectful and degrading. What a piece of shyte!!!

  11. #20
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Hearing "somewhere to go and kiss," would have raised a red flag for me. Way too presumptuous for a second date. I'd have countered with, "How about not?" There's not a shot that I would have followed him anywhere after that.

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