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Thread: Holy Carp, I'm Getting Married!

  1. #31
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by WithLove
    Well, we learned very quickly that people want a LOT of money for a ceremony and reception, and we don't really care all that much about putting so much time, money and effort into all of that, so we're changing our plans. We're going to find a park or somewhere around our town and have a quick, intimate ceremony with my good friend (who is ordained) as the minister, and then we're going to meet friends and family at a restaurant later that day. No decorations, no dancing (because he doesn't like to dance), no music - just good food and good people. And then we will head up to Disney World ourselves (and anyone else that wants to go that has annual passes or whatever) for a couple days right after.

    I can't wait!! We are going to the jewelry store that a friend of mine works in, who actually repairs and makes the jewelry. We're going to see her on Saturday to design my ring. He has family heirloom tanzanite stones that he got from my mom to put into an engagement ring. He won't let me tell anyone til I have a ring to show off!
    It all sounds lovely ,K. We had a small no nonsense wedding too and then we went to Quebec city for 2 weeks.

  2. #32
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by WithLove
    Well, we learned very quickly that people want a LOT of money for a ceremony and reception, and we don't really care all that much about putting so much time, money and effort into all of that, so we're changing our plans. We're going to find a park or somewhere around our town and have a quick, intimate ceremony with my good friend (who is ordained) as the minister, and then we're going to meet friends and family at a restaurant later that day. No decorations, no dancing (because he doesn't like to dance), no music - just good food and good people. And then we will head up to Disney World ourselves (and anyone else that wants to go that has annual passes or whatever) for a couple days right after.

    I can't wait!! We are going to the jewelry store that a friend of mine works in, who actually repairs and makes the jewelry. We're going to see her on Saturday to design my ring. He has family heirloom tanzanite stones that he got from my mom to put into an engagement ring. He won't let me tell anyone til I have a ring to show off!
    Congratulations. :) Good on both of you for realizing what works for you and narrowing things down. We also had a small ceremony and did something similar. I've been reading the thread and wanted to wait to see what your decision would be.

    Have fun!

  3. #33
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
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    We went to the jewelry store on Saturday and bf bought my engagement ring! It's being designed and made by a friend of mine that is a teammate in my sport. I should get it in about two weeks!

  4. #34
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    ❤️
    ....
    ....
    Originally Posted by WithLove
    We went to the jewelry store on Saturday and bf bought my engagement ring! It's being designed and made by a friend of mine that is a teammate in my sport. I should get it in about two weeks!

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  6. #35
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Ohhhh. . .I just saw this!
    I am sorry happy for you. Congratulations Sweetie !!!

  7. #36
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Soooooo happy. (Not sorry) stupid auto correct ;)

  8. #37
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
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    Opinions needed!

    We secured a garden gazebo in a local community garden located in a park. It cost all of $25 to reserve it for the day. Fiancé (that word is still weird to type out!!) and I talked and he thinks that my family, a lot of whom are within a 3 hour radius, will be sorely disappointed if they do not get invited to the ceremony, so he thinks it will be better if we invite everyone, instead of just our folks and two witnesses like originally planned. Luckily our guest list is maxed out at about 50 people right now, and the location can hold up to 70. We are looking into renting chairs etc, as the park only supplies the gazebo (which is fine). I had the thought to just ask everyone to bring their own chair, but I guess that would just seem, you know, cheap. Thoughts?

    Another thing I wanted opinions on is the lunch celebration we are doing afterwards. We really do not want to fork out the money to feed 50-odd people, whether buffet or table service, because that same night, we are driving up to Disney and spending the week in Orlando. We have been doing some heavy research over the last week, and I have found two restaurants that have private space in which to accommodate us. What I would like to do is have a notice on the wedding invite that explains that in lieu of a gift, we would love everyone to join us for a celebratory meal at "xxx". I think they call it "No Host". I don't want to state "you have to pay your own way", even though it is that simple. Does this seem to gauche?

    And here are our two options: one of them is a steakhouse that has a private space that holds 70 people. They will allow us and our guests have the space without charging us for a table service or buffet, but we must agree to a limited menu (that we pick, there are like 6 different limited menu options they offer) that everyone will be able to pick what they want from (not including drinks, but they do have a drink menu), and then they will just split the bill up at the end so that each person is charged what a normal plate at a table service would be, if we were paying for it ourselves. That way the restaurant is able to make their "minimum" charges so that it's worth their time.

    The other option is a nice, modern bar/restaurant that is closer to the park where the ceremony is being held. The first floor is the dining area, and the second floor (the private area) is an open rooftop (but with some areas covered) bar area with seating. It's a beautiful space, but it is outside. Additionally, that area can't offer buffet or table service, because they don't really have a means of getting staff up there all at once to serve, etc. What they can offer is that each guest will just have their own tab, and people can order off the menu as normal. There is always a live band that plays downstairs, and on a Sunday afternoon it will be something light and mood-appropriate, which we will be able to hear upstairs on the rooftop. The cons: since the food portion won't be orchestrated all at once, we will run the risk of people not getting their food all at once; they can only guarantee the private rooftop area for 3 hours, afterwards they will open it to the general public (although they won't kick us out, of course); and my fiancé and I will have to pay a $350 fee to hold the space (not refundable). So we'd be paying for a space and that fee would not include any food.

    Thoughts? It helps to type everything out!

  9. #38
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    If you are not having a meal don’t invite these extra people .

  10. #39
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    I would not ask people to bring their own chairs or pay their own way for food. I have seen cash bars at certain wedding receptions but never where the guests pay for their own meal. No one is obligated to give a gift so asking in lieu of gift to split a bill for a meal where many might drink a lot more, etc can get burdensome and be way more than they wanted to spend on a gift. Certainly I've seen "no gifts needed but if you would like to make a donation to ____ charity please feel free".

    Does the guest list include kids/significant others or plus ones (just to check as far as what the limit is for the space).

    If you want people to be there for the ceremony then I'd do non-alcoholic beverages and simple snacks/appetizers and indicate "ceremony/light refreshments to follow." And have it at a time where they can then leave and go get a meal elsewhere on their own time/dime.

    I know it's complicated! (We limited it to 10 guests and treated for lunch after).

  11. #40
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Can you do this at someone's home?
    A nice backyard wedding and you can elicit help from friends and family to cook a simple meal that goes a long way.
    Some pasta and salad maybe? Or just hors d'oeuvres?
    I also wouldn't ask people to bring chairs and divide the meal check. I didn't know that could be done.
    Things have changed, so maybe I am out of the loop.

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