I’ve posted about this before - it’s a never ending battle and honestly the system just sucks so be very very grateful for your children not displaying these behaviors it’s stress, frustration and helplessness you can’t afford to have esp if you have other kids - was never like this early on as youngster 4yrs old just very active ... however red flags did occur here and there but he would visit school psychologist and usually things would be ok
Official Diagnosis is ADHD , ADD and Impulsively however I think there is some undocumented ED as well and maybe personality issues but at 12 maybe to young yet to diagnose that ...
1. We Have tried all the medications, either zombie and no food intake occur or the opposite happen and he is a full blown maniac either way it’s not good for him as a child and doesn’t help ...
2. Tried all kinds of counseling and the play in the sand stuff never worked ...He is smart enough to speak to a counselor about how he feels however it never makes any sense to what his behaviors are so he just says what he thinks you want to hear and it’s an endless cycle of no where - the physician and psychologist etc all agree though he has a part of the brain that never connected with the right and wrong ...Brain scans done showing hyperactivity but nothing else ...Have tried after school, camps, karate , mentors etc ...
3. Has been in 4-5 schools one of which was an outdoor life school and that’s been the most positive bc he doesn’t have to sit and do “work” and when he is asked even currently why he chooses (sometimes I think it really is him choosing not to do things bc that’s how he gets out of everything) to have a good day he says bc it was easy at school no work ..currently he is in a special class in another new school (we moved to another state) and in a big middle school he hasn’t been able to adjust to HW and has a reading level of a 3rd grader , has a hard time keeping friends, and usually says inappropriate things to girls (we have tried to keep all adult things on tv etc away from him for fear of absorbing that to bring to school etc), will sleep in class when not wanting to do work or go under desk, break headphones bc he bored etc
4. Always at trouble at home never makes good decisions, always throw tantrums and slams things etc when asked to do anything that he doesn’t want to do - now here is the scary part he literally forgets what he does 5-10 mins after he has a blowout and acts like nothing happened, when asked he stares at you with a blank stare ...no professional has been able to figure that out and that’s one of the hardest part of the disability he has no responsibility or remorse or memory
5. Mother stressed out to max since we’ve exhausted all resources and father is no help (has ADHD in family genetics and is a former alcoholic and drug addict)
6. Doesn’t listen to authority unless it’s really enforced will do 5 problems out of 10 on a super modifier HW assignment and than run out of the house on bike to play for 2 hrs when comes back in no clue he didn’t finish hw didn’t read , minor chores etc ...hygiene lacks if we don’t stay ontop wears same clothes, never brushes teeth unless we stay on top, room always a mess again no life responsibilities not even a concern for himself ...lies constantly and makes up stories to get negative attention
7. Family doesn’t understand when they visit and often will argue he is bad influence on other kids bc of his weird actions : comments etc
8. Weird tendency with animals he is very good with them but over bears on them to the point of hovering over them , kissing inside around there mouths or letting them lick him on the mouth for 5 mins straight or kissing on or around there tails (we have dogs) ...
9. Doesn’t like to eat even off medication , snacks or makes weird concoctions of spice cabinet drinks in middle of night , has slept walked a few yrs back and even peed in toy boxes or closet once or twice before
10. If everything is taken away including tv while in room he will fall asleep instantly (maybe brain is always going and exhausts him)
11. Smart enough to manipulate babysitters - the rule is no going outside and he will get babysitter to take him outside and play in the construction dirt zone area on his bike... He said parents let him do this all the time was the answer we got ...
Again it’s not about me making the jump in this knowing he had behaviors etc as I’ve known my wife almost my whole life however this is hard and she would agree and there is little help and very rare solutions to something like this as I stress we have tried a lot short of hospitalization but that won’t do anything - I think he needs a go away program , structure that he can’t escape my 2c maybe others can chime in - this is one of the those life things that you can only hope works out at the end but really stress relationships and life across the board and is probably why a good amount of people get divorced it really does split you down the middle as to how to handle this everyday all day ...