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Thread: For the gurus

  1. #11
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    If you are aware you have "options" when it comes to other people, then you never really loved her. I love my guy and no one else is remotely on my radar. A guy could be interested, and i would be totally oblivious to him as an "option" because there is no other option to me, in my eyes. I have made my choice. i am not saying there are not attractive men in the world, but they don't even cross my mind as a consideration

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    If you are aware you have "options" when it comes to other people, then you never really loved her. I love my guy and no one else is remotely on my radar. A guy could be interested, and i would be totally oblivious to him as an "option" because there is no other option to me, in my eyes. I have made my choice. i am not saying there are not attractive men in the world, but they don't even cross my mind as a consideration
    They are not a consideration at all. Just know we're both getting hit up. And we're honest with each other about it....

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by James Andrew
    They are not a consideration at all. Just know we're both getting hit up. And we're honest with each other about it....
    How does that improve your relationship?

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by James Andrew
    They are not a consideration at all. Just know we're both getting hit up. And we're honest with each other about it....
    Getting "hit up" and flirted with is not a "relationship option". Honestly, i am not looking so unless a guy is over the top blatant about it, i just interpret it as being friendly. If some guy says "that's a really cool star wars shirt" or something, i don't interpret it as him wanting a date. He MIGHT be flirting. He might just like Star Wars. Even so, if he said it making googly eyes at me or looking me up and down, i wouldn't go to my guy and say "hey babe, a dude was really checking me out..." I mean what's the purpose of that? I probably forgot about it at that point.

    Unless you mean a woman comes up to you and slips you her number and says "my place". Random people who give compliments are not "options" and if you speak to her - trying to let her know you are a guy with "plenty of options" - that doesn't feel nice. My ex used to say that to get certain behavior out of me "you know, i DO have my choice in women if you don't do X"

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  6. #15
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    You're missing the point there I think...

  7. #16
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    I have a feeling that there is a lot more to this than just what is being posted. History is written by winners and I am thinking that if she were to post on here, it would be very different from yours.
    I also find it odd that you two are bragging on how others are attracted to you and to her. Its not unusual but it is odd in this situation. So going by what you posted I think you have two options.
    1. Go to couples counseling. There is a lot more to this than what is said on here so counseling would do good. You two can get all of the issues out into the open and deal with them and from there see if you two are still compatible and if you two are in agreement on what the future holds. This is the quickest method of finding out what is best for you and your child.
    2. You two should just break up and have her go see if the other men that fancy her are better for her than you are. If she dates and quits thinking about you then you have your answer. If you go out and date someone and quit thinking of your X, then you have your answer. The problem with this method is that it takes time (maybe years) and in the meanwhile you are going to be on an emotional rollercoaster.
    I would offer a 3rd option but that is what you are doing now and that is to figure things out on your own. Sounds like both of you are too scared to say whats really on your mind in fear of hurting the other person so you are having a staring contest to see who blinks first. This method is okay but you wont find out the truth on where you stand and that is going to cause you headaches.
    Good luck with whatever path you choose.

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