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Thread: Whatís it like dating someone with mild aspergers?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    My experience...they don't know how to react to emotions, or social cues, which can feel like a lack of communication, or a lack of caring which is frustrating at times.

  2. #12
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Yes, it can seem like lack of caring but it isnít. They do have a lot of empathy it is just not expressed in an allistic way.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by Karen21260
    Iím curious to see if anyone has any experience. :)
    Ah, so you're talking about the guy you went on two dates with who you plan to ask for "feedback" if he doesn't want to see you again.

    Why do you presume he has Aspergers just because he may not want to go out with you again? Maybe he doesn't have a medical or any other type of condition but has just decided you two are not a fit.

  4. #14
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    We were talking about personalities and he told me he believes he has mild to mid undiagnosed aspergers. I mean if heís not into me then heís not, but I am curious about he condition.

    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Ah, so you're talking about the guy you went on two dates with who you plan to ask for "feedback" if he doesn't want to see you again.

    Why do you presume he has Aspergers just because he may not want to go out with you again? Maybe he doesn't have a medical or any other type of condition but has just decided you two are not a fit.

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  6. #15
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    He told me. I mean if heís not interested me in me then thatís that, but I am curious about the aspergers.

    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    Has he told you he has mild Asperger's? Or have you diagnosed him during these days when you haven't heard from him but hoped to about the third date?

  7. #16
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Watch the video I put up. If you want to know about Autism the best people to learn from are Autistic people. The video is done by an Autistic person. Many Autistic people prefer identity first language . Autistic person not person with Autism. There are Autistic people on this forum. Wether they choose to speak up is up to them.
    Originally Posted by Karen21260
    He told me. I mean if heís not interested me in me then thatís that, but I am curious about the aspergers.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by Karen21260
    We were talking about personalities and he told me he believes he has mild to mid undiagnosed aspergers. I mean if heís not into me then heís not, but I am curious about he condition.
    If it's undiagnosed then I don't think your question is relevant because it's what it's like dating someone who has a diagnosis. He doesn't. And anyway as I wrote it manifests in very individual ways, some positive, some challenging, some neither - so your question isn't going to gain you much relevant information even if this guy did have a diagnosis. Even if he did he is a person who chose not to accept your invitation for a date. That situation is highly typical albeit disappointing. Whether the reason is that he has some sort of "condition" or thinks you do, or none of the above is irrelevant other than maybe for your ego -meaning if this was because of a condition and not simply "not interested" would your ego feel less bruised? I say assume he's just not that into you especially if you're going to see his profile active on a dating site, etc.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    There is a plethora of accurate information on many hospital or government based sites, if you're that curious. Google is your friend and it's a lot more accurate than the guessing and flaming that has gone on with rhetorical threads like this. keep in mind even if thinks he has this, that or the other, he can still just not be interested. So all the guessing and speculating is in vain.


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    Originally Posted by Karen21260
    We were talking about personalities and he told me he believes he has mild to mid undiagnosed aspergers. I mean if heís not into me then heís not, but I am curious about he condition.

  10. #19
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    Let's just say that dating anyone with a disorder (yes, Aspergers is a disorder according to the DSM) is more difficult than dating someone who doesn't have a disorder. Two friends of mine have Aspergers and they're completely different people. However, there are some similarities to be found. How Aspergers comes out in them is their extreme interest in certain topics, to the point that it's hard to talk about anything else with them. Socially they are limited, especially in the empathy department. It's hard for them to truly grasp other people's emotions.

    I'd assume the more comfortable they become with you, the expression of these character traits exacerbate.

    Aspergers can also be genetic. One friend has a father with Aspergers and he told me it was so incredibly hard to connect with his father. To the point that he doesn't really want contact with him, while nothing bad has happened.

    So I guess that if you want to date someone with Aspergers you need to know that socially they're often limited, forming a deep and trusting connection might be a challenge. If you want that (almost impossible) challenge, go for it. It's not like they're not good people or anything, just a challenge socially (for both you and them).

  11. #20
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    It is a myth they donít have empathy. My son has tons . It is just not normally expressed like an NT.

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