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Thread: Texting a date for feedback?

  1. #31
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by annie24
    Regarding feedback..... eh. I'm not sure if you asked him that he would even be honest and upfront.
    Yeah, I agree. It's not a job interview. Questioning isn't likely to produce anything of value, "Do you realize that you pick your nose in public?" Most people can't identify exactly why they don't find simpatico with another, but it's true of most of us even when selecting our friendships. Why do we bond better with some people than with most people?

    It's important to grasp before dating that most people are NOT our match. It's just natural odds. Striking simpatico requires the patience and tenacity of combing through a haystack for a needle. We all view the world through different lenses, and most will not view us through the 'right' lens in order to recognize, much less appreciate, our unique value.

    I'd skip the idea of viewing the limits of others as a reflection of some kind of deficiency in you. It's as much about timing as it is about chemistry, and finding it requires resilience and a strong foundation of confidence and appreciation for you OWN value.

    Love is rare. It's supposed to be rare, or what would be so special about it?

    Head high.

  2. #32
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    I don't think it's a bad idea. There are a few guys I dated or chatted with on line who acted in ways and said things that were offputting whether it was arrogance, full of themselves, self-centered, ego driven, or bull shters and don't realize how offputting that is.

    After I dropped them, they did not ask why so did not tell them but would have liked to, had they asked.

    Sometimes it's not just that they're not the right "fit" there are specific reasons they may not be aware of that may humble them and make them more appealing to opposite sex.

    "Not" asking sometimes reflects arrogance too. We should all strive to improve ourselves, getting feedback can help identify how we appear to others which can be of great value once we let go of arrogance and listen.
    Last edited by justicegrl; Today at 10:56 AM.

  3. #33
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    I remember one man I was dating and liked a lot who suddenly stopped contact. One might assume he lost interest, which he did, but not for what you might think.

    A week later I humbled myself and contacted him asking what happened, why he stopped contact and asking me out.

    He said since I never initiated, and other reasons, I appeared very self-entitled, and after thinking about it, he was right!

    We never dated again but I learned something valuable from asking and since then, I began initiating and reciprocating which helped improve myself and my relationships henceforth.

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