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Thread: Texting a date for feedback?

  1. #11
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    Karen, how did you respond when he told you that he would be busy that weekend & over the course of the month?

    I would have taken that opportunity to respond by saying, ďOk, good luck with the workload. When things calm down for you and if you want to hang out, feel free to reach outĒ, and left it at that.

    I wouldnít bother reaching out again at this point. He knows youíre interested.

    In my experience, when a guyís interested, youíll know and heíll be setting up a date to ensure you see each other again.

    Who knows, maybe you will hear from him again, but Iíd give him space & leave him be, considering the message he sent you.

    Let any thoughts about this guy go and focus on meeting other men. Trust me, if this guy wants to see you again, he will make it known.
    Last edited by milly007; 09-06-2019 at 10:19 AM.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    If he'd been the one to ask you out the 3rd time and you were going out of town and really busy at work, wouldn't you have looked at the calendar and given him the first free date? Anybody with great interest would, to let the person know it's circumstances, not lack of interest, for the delay in setting up the next date.

    No, do not contact him again. Never make more effort than you're receiving when first dating. You made the last effort. It's his turn to either do so or fade away, because he doesn't even owe you a goodbye after only 2 dates.

    You don't need feedback, and most likely if he gave you an answer, it would be a lie. Just because a date doesn't work out, doesn't mean you need improvement. I've always just been myself on dates. Either I was someone's cup of tea or I wasn't. You normally have to date a boatload of people to hit magic. When I did OLD, I went on dates with about 30 men before I met my future husband. The fact that he asked you out a 2nd time meant you didn't act off-putting the first time around, so I bet you're doing fine.

    I know how frustrating it is to be interested in someone and they move on. It happened to me when I was dating, but when I met the right man, I then was happy the other ones didn't work out. Assume your guardian angel or fate has someone better in store. Take care.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    It's a bit ironic that you are claiming that he is socially awkward when here you are, failing to read the most basic of social cues yourself.

    You asked for a date, he "suddenly" became busy all weekend and then again a whole month. OP, nobody is ever that busy. That is your polite rejection from him. An equivalent of a girl telling a guy she needs to wash her hair....for a month.... Take the hint, do it gracefully and move on. Don't pretend that you don't understand what he meant by "busy".....but since you are asking.....he is not that into you.

    As for asking for feedback, sorry but it is weird and pointless. What can someone who doesn't know at all, has only seen you twice in their life tell you about you? The attraction was one sided and that's all your feedback.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It's more likely that he's simply not interested than that he has some undiagnosed neurological, psychiatric, etc. issue. Just because someone doesn't want to date, you don't need to push, find excuses or start the armchair diagnoses rolling. And no, he's not gay either if he doesn't contact you, so you can rule that out now as well.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    It's more likely that he's simply not interested than that he has some undiagnosed neurological, psychiatric, etc. issue. Just because someone doesn't want to date, you don't need to push, find excuses or start the armchair diagnoses rolling. And no, he's not gay either if he doesn't contact you, so you can rule that out now as well.
    Loved this!

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    It's more likely that he's simply not interested than that he has some undiagnosed neurological, psychiatric, etc. issue. Just because someone doesn't want to date, you don't need to push, find excuses or start the armchair diagnoses rolling. And no, he's not gay either if he doesn't contact you, so you can rule that out now as well.
    Yep, just because he isn't interested in a third date doesn't mean he has Aspergers. Maybe he just isn't feeling it for whatever reason.

  8. #17
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    I agree with everyone who wrote that the ball is in his court, this is a simple matter of he's just not that into you -his actions tell you that -no need to overthink or play therapist. i'm sorry to write that as I've been there and know it is disappointing to hear and accept. It's a waste of time to try to analyze -spend that time being out there and living your life and meeting people. All the best to you!

  9. #18
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    Thank you everyone for your feedback. I wonít text him. I wrote it out of a moment of weakness / desperation. I think itís not necessarily him but Iím frustrated with dating and being single in general. I want to be in a relationship but havenít found the right person yet and itís heartbreaking sometimes.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by Karen21260
    Thank you everyone for your feedback. I wonít text him. I wrote it out of a moment of weakness / desperation. I think itís not necessarily him but Iím frustrated with dating and being single in general. I want to be in a relationship but havenít found the right person yet and itís heartbreaking sometimes.
    I was exactly where you are for many years. I get it!! Partly I got in my own way. What worked for me was to become the right person to find the right person. I got married at 42.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    The best way to handle those very human frustrations, in my experience, is to do things that remind you of how awesome you are, and how awesome it is to be alive, rather than trying to figure out why some stranger maybe wasn't feeling you after two dates and then go about tweaking the code of your personhood in order to make sure the next stranger feels you after two dates.

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