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Thread: I’m confused & I don’t know what to do! Help please

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Sep 2019
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    I’m confused & I don’t know what to do! Help please

    Hi guys , I have been with (my girlfriend or ex I’m not sure ) for more than 5 years and we live together for over 4 years , she is 33 and I’m 35 ,we live in her mums house for more than a year as her mum want us to stay , I love her so much and she loved me too , for last couple years she asking for a baby we had argument about this many times and everytime we had argument about a baby she said we are done we won’t be together anymore but after few hours or a day everything went back to normal ,, last week we had argument and she said I don’t want to be with you , we are done . The next day she went out the house with her brother and she stayed in her brothers house and I was talking to her mum same day about it her mum was not happy but she told everyone about us , since then my girlfriend or ex come home it’s been a week we still sleep in same room but she sleep on the sofa and she doesn’t let me touch her at all because she saying we are not together anymore and she saying you make it worse by talking to her mum , whenever I tried to talk to her she is getting upset and she saying I don’t wanna talk , I told her I love you and I want baby with you soon she telling me it’s late we are not together anymore and it hurt me so much when she acting like that or telling me we are not together anymore , all I’m trying to sit down with her and be honest with her that we can have a baby soon but she doesn’t listen and keep repeating that we are finished but she doesn’t say pack your staff and find somewhere else to live as I live in her mums house and she doesn’t change her state on Facebook that we are not together , her Facebook still says we are in relationship if she tell me that you need to move out then I can understand it’s officially over , I don’t want to move out Without her telling me you need to move out . I don’t want to lose her I love her very much . But I don’t know what to do and I’m not sure it’s the end !
    Can you guys please advice me it’s over or not ?

    Sorry for my bad English .

  2. #2
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    Why a baby first? Does she not want to get married too? Or have you made it clear that marriage is not an option?

    She is not wrong. If what she wants out of life is not the same as what you want out of life, she is right to move on to someone else. If a baby is something she wants, she is running out of time to find someone, make sure they are compatible, fall in love, get married and have a baby.

    Five years is enough time to know if you want to spend the rest of your life with her... is she the one or not?

    Whats stopping you, OP? Why always later? And does she know what you are waiting for?

    Basically, she doesnt believe you anymore. You can only hear soon so many times.

    I think your first step is figuring out what YOU really want - and if its not her or its not a family right now - if you love her -you need to let her go and find that life.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Perhaps you both need to focus on being more independent. She wants to start a family and you don't. Why? If that is the case move out of her mother's house so she can find someone who wants a family with her. Stop hanging around and taking up space in her life and mother's house if you are just going to argue and deny her what she wants.
    Originally Posted by Daaa
    we live in her mums house for more than a year as her mum want us to stay , I love her so much and she loved me too , for last couple years she asking for a baby we had argument about this many times and everytime we had argument about a baby she said we are done.

  4. #4

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    Thanks for your replay RedDress, yes she always asked for married and baby and family not just baby .
    I always loved her and want to married her and have baby with her and spend the rest of my life with her but I was stupid I ignored it to married her and have baby with her without any reason ,but Im ready now if everything go back to normal straight away Ill married her and hopefully to have baby with her .

    Today she saw me I was sit down in the car and look sad she came to to the car she said Im just asking for space but she didnt mention we are finished like before ,and as I mentioned before she doesnt say you need to move out .

    Do you think she already decide to finish with me for good ? Or I still have a chance to make it right !

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  6. #5

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    Thanks Wiseman2 for your replay

    I always wanted to married her and have baby with her but I was stupid I didnt make it happen before even I wanted to , if I knew this will happen I would have married her and had a baby long time ago .

    I dont want to move out by myself at least she tells me you need to move out because I dont want to lose her for good , Im ready to make it right but the problem she doesnt listen to me always she saying I dont want to talk about it .
    I see her she eat very less sometimes she doesnt eat all day and sleep very less maybe 2 hours a day maximum, i feel lost I dont understand her at all .

    I dont know what to do or what to think , if she wanted to break up with me for good why she doesnt just sit down with me say Iam not interested in you anymore and I want you to find somewhere else and move out !

    I know i will be very hurt 😞 if I lose her for good and take me ages if I ever go back to normal

    I want to make it right this time but dont know if I have a chance anymore ?

    Do you think it is over already or I still may have a chance ?

  7. #6
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    Why don't you start with a marriage proposal? After you set a date, then you can talk about having a baby. May experts recommend being married for a while -- like a year -- before you have kids. What is her rush? Are there medical / biological reasons (age?) that she has to have a baby right now.

    If you are both still living with her mom, it doesn't sound to me like you are in a financial position to afford a kid.

  8. #7

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    Thanks for the replay TeeDee

    Why dont you start with a marriage proposal?

    She had an argument with me about that As well because she wanted that but as I mentioned before I was stupid and didnt know how to start or take action about proposal or married or baby always I said to her we will do it soon but never happened , but now I know it was all my fault that I should have done all that long time ago because I always wanted to have a family and kids with her .
    Now I know Im ready to take action and make everything right but the problem now she doesnt give me a chance to sit down with me and have a chat with her to explain everything and taking action whenever I try to to talk she saying I need a space and Iam not in the mood for talk , last week she was keep saying we are not together now she doesnt mention we are not together only she saying I need a space and not in the mood for talk and Im trying to respect her and give her space and not talk too much, even I was trying to tell her that Im going to live somewhere else for couple weeks and give her space because we still sleep in same room and she still making food for me washing my staff but she getting upset and leave the room and she doesnt listen to me whenever I try to say I give her space and go live in somewhere else for couple weeks.
    only last night I tried to come back late as I didnt want to bother her and want to give her some space but she called me said where are you and sound upset that I didnt go home , thats why I feel lost and I dont understand her and feel hurt and I still dont know if it is break up or not ?or what can I call our situation

    She upset to not having a baby because of her age she is 33 and she saying it will be harder and risky to have a baby when Im old .
    We lived together for 3 years then we came to live in her mums house and We can afford to rent and move out to live somewhere else but her mum want us to stay here .


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