Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 26

Thread: Why would a woman agree to be a married man's side girl?

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    16

    Why would a woman agree to be a married man's side girl?

    Why would a woman agree to be a man's side girl, knowing that he has a girlfriend/wife?

    She knows that he can't spend major holidays with her, no birthday celebrations, no introduction to his family or friends. He can only talk to her and be with her when his girlfriend/wife is not available and for only a short period of time.

    Why would any woman, knowing all that, subject herself to such a relationship?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Location
    British Columbia, Canada
    Posts
    2,004
    Gender
    Female
    It may be that she is not interested in those things.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    10,134
    Gender
    Female
    if the roles were reversed would it make a difference? just curious.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    34,217
    Gender
    Male
    Is someone you're interested in having an affair with a married/taken guy?
    Originally Posted by mrfloydian
    Why would a woman agree to be a man's side girl, knowing that he has a girlfriend/wife?

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    2,034
    Gender
    Female
    It might be because they (whether it be a man or woman pursuing a married person) donít want the commitment or effort that comes with a full blown relationship, or maybe they want someone they canít fully have, and theyíre okay with having something with this person over nothing.

    Regardless of the reasons why they are pursuing someone in a committed relationship, itís clear they lack self-worth, self-respect, and respect and consideration for other people and their relationships.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    10,390
    It's not too difficult if we bother to look at women as sexual creatures just as well. They may not even want to spend holidays with the guy or introduce him to their family and friends. In fact, but for him being attractive and a good lay, his personality might have precluded them from having any sort of relations. A good many have no moral issue being complicit as they see the marriage and cheating as the husband's responsibility, and thus not their problem. Maybe they appreciate the reliable sex on the side why they themselves look for a more serious relationship. I'm not saying I morally agree with any of it, but insofar as you're confused why they'd engage with no promise or even possibility if it getting any deeper, there are 1,001 reasons.

    Then you get some occasions where people might call it low self-esteem, while I'd consider it a pretty extreme level of hubris that they assume themselves such a catch they'd win out over the wife and kids. I think you get a few women out there who legit are so emotionally unhealthy they can't reasonably be even held fractionally accountable for their participation, but I think we tend to use it as an excuse to infatilize ladies when we should probably allow them the basic respect of acknowledging they know what they're getting themselves into and have made their own assessments.

    For the record, this all swings both ways. I dare to say if an incredibly attractive married woman propositioned a guy to have sex with her once a week somewhere, you'd get plenty of willing participants.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Wilds of Texas
    Posts
    9,784
    Gender
    Female
    In a nutshell they are emotionally unhealthy and disordered in some way or many ways.

    As for actual reasons, there are any number of them. Some simply don't care, they are only enjoying the sex without the actual attached responsibilities of the relationship or marriage. In short, they are not emotionally involved at all and are not looking to get involved and simply do not care about anyone outside of themselves and their own convenience. Some are in an imaginary competition to win their affair partner over the wife/gf and kids. My personal mileage is that the vast majority fall into this category. The hiding is a temporary inconvenience for them while they keep their eye on the "prize", aka a man or woman who is a proven cheater. What a prize that is. Anyway, others are lonely, have extreme low self esteem and will buy any bs at all just to have something over nothing. They also actually delude themselves into the idea that this is really true love and just like the previous variety, that eventually their affair partner will leave the existing relationship to be with them. There are also those who simply get off on the lies and deceit. They actively enjoy the sneaking around and duping the unknowing spouse/SO. The latter people in particular are quite seriously pathological.

    Btw, this is not a gender thing. The above applies equally to both genders.

  9. #8
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    16,719
    Gender
    Female
    My guess is they have low self-esteem, self worth, etc.

    At any rate, whether it be a man or a woman, I can't imagine what they see in someone who openly demonstrates their disloyalty to the person they said vows to. Where's the attraction in that?

    I've never been in that position, and either has my husband simply because I keep him on a leash 24/7. (kidding-kidding.)

  10. #9
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Posts
    2,804
    Why are you asking?

    Just curious your motivation for the question.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Location
    British Columbia, Canada
    Posts
    2,004
    Gender
    Female
    The hypothetical situation seems monogamous and heterosexual, based on the premise that the women are faithful but the man is not. What if that premise is false? Perhaps the meaning of marriage itself may be called into question if there are different interpretations. There is no known knowledge that the wife in the marriage is faithful or not cheating either. There is no knowledge whether the female third party is monogamous or faithful to the married man.

    What is marriage? Is it an agreement between two parties or more? Is there more than one agreement? Who alters that agreement (one person or any person)? Should knowledge be shared? Speaking of "sides", who is on the inside of that agreement and who is on the outside?

    If marriage is an agreement between parties, at what point does it stop being an agreement? Why would a man or woman subject him or herself to such an agreement if it's open to alterations? Was the marriage an agreement at all? Is it still an agreement and how has it changed?

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •