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Thread: He's stopped pursuing contact, what should I do?

  1. #1
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    He's stopped pursuing contact, what should I do?

    At the start this guy was basically chasing me i.e calling/messaging initiating pretty much everything. I admit I had my guard up so I wasn't particularly receptive always. He prefers talking on the phone and I prefer messaging, I also just didn't have much time to have lengthy phone conversations. Anyway he got fed up at one point and basically said he refuses to be a texting buddy. To which I then replied he wasn't and then tried my best to make effort with him and call him etc. But as things go we both kept missing each other's calls. He works 12 hour shifts so his work keeps him busy too.

    Anyway after that he stopped contacting me full stop, so after five days I reached out with a simple message and he was perfectly normal with me again and attentive. He said to me hes surprised I'm still talking to him as he hasn't been able to make as much effort as he normally does (so I guess it's the other way around now). I told him it's fine and tht life gets in the way sometimes, that night he then said i should let him know when I'm free and he will call me. Unfortunately I got back home quite late tht night and knocked out so the next day I texted and told him I was sorry but I fell asleep. He said it's fine and not to worry.

    Fast forward five days and I have not heard from him. Since i broke the silence last time I'm sort of waiting on him to contact me.

    I don't really know what to do from here. Is he still interested but just wants me to pursue him or something or has he given up?

  2. #2
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    It sounds like he's lost interest or met someone else.

    How long had you been seeing him, and how often did you have the chance to meet in person?

  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    It sounds like he's lost interest or met someone else.

    How long had you been seeing him, and how often did you have the chance to meet in person?
    It's not even been a week since I last heard from him and he seemed perfectly happy to speak to me then.

    It's Been a few months.

    I don't know I just assumed maybe it's because I havnt pursued him back or shown equal effort.

  4. #4
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    Have you met in person?

  5.  

  6. #5
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    And how often did you go out on dates together?

  7. #6
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Have you met in person?
    We havnt. But due to the nature of his job he wanted to be sure about me before he did. So he wanted to have a proper phone conversation with me before meeting.

  8. #7
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    You have never met in person?

    I'm sorry to say that this isn't going to go anywhere if you two haven't met even once after months of talking. If it's this difficult to find time for one phone call and one date, there's no point.

    I think he is probably pursuing other options. Either that or he's not actually single.

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    You have never met in person?

    I'm sorry to say that this isn't going to go anywhere if you two haven't met even once after months of talking. If it's this difficult to find time for one phone call and one date, there's no point.

    I think he is probably pursuing other options. Either that or he's not actually single.
    I already explained due to the nature of his job he's quite busy. He works 12 hour shifts.
    But anyway you think I shouldn't contact him myself then?

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by Savanna
    I already explained due to the nature of his job he's quite busy. He works 12 hour shifts.
    But anyway you think I shouldn't contact him myself then?
    Yes, I read that. However, I don't buy it as the reason you two could not manage even one date.

    Plenty of people are busy with work, school, kids, demanding careers, travel, or some combination thereof. My own partner regularly works 12 hours a day in a fast-paced and stressful job. Such people can still find time to have a date if they genuinely want to. Perhaps he gave up after he got the impression you wouldn't speak on the phone, or maybe he was always on the fence about meeting you.

    Whatever the case may be, if getting to the first date is this hard, then a having a actual relationship is going to impossible. It's just not a realistic prospect. As such, and given his recent silence, no, I wouldn't bother contacting him again.

    Sorry, girl.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Heather Dawn's Avatar
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    It's been a few months and you haven't met in person? Yeesh. He's probably lost interest and/or met someone in person.

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